explored the possibilities . . . art, life, love . . . in three words
Thursday, February 19, 2009
. . . listed good things
about living alone. It's been three weeks since I became the sole resident of this house. I am a statistic. It occurred to me that I have never lived alone in all my life: I shared a room at home with two sisters and a house with an additional three brothers, parents and an aunt; at college and the first few years I worked I had roommates. Then I had a husband, and then some kids. That may explain why I'm a hermit. Because living alone is not bad at all. Except I worry about becoming the neighborhood cat woman. . . you know, the old lady who lives with 86 cats and all the neighborhood children are frightened of her, and like a neighbor we once had, only puts on her underwear to go to the grocery store.
Of course there have been changes: I am much more aware of keeping the doors locked all the time. In fact, my son had to call me the other day and tell me he was at the front door, because I had locked all the doors to go to the studio and I can't hear the doorbell down there, especially with the Ipod turned up. But I'm not really frightened to stay by myself at all. If you live alone you can:
5. Get up or go to bed at any time you feel like it without being perceived as a whacko. If I want to get up at 4:30 a.m., okay; if I want to go to sleep at 8:30 p.m. or 1:00 a.m., fine.
4. Go down to the studio at any time, early, late, all day.
3. Do laundry once a week. Wait till tomorrow to sweep the kitchen floor. Keep the shower clean.
2. Go anywhere any time you want to. . . except you have to figure out where you want to go, and if you want to go by yourself.
1. Eat chocolate cake with whipped cream for dinner. (I just did this once, but it was delightful.)
Okay, so it's only been three weeks. The road ahead sometimes look pretty bleak; other times I can't wait to get on with my life. But I know that I need to remain calm and rational and not rush into things. I realize that I will probably lose my home, my studio, my garden; I may have to get a "real job." I don't think I'm as tough as I once was, and change is difficult. But then I looked at a picture of some of the victims of the civil wars occurring in Africa, and I think, what am I worried about? My life is so much better than that of so many people in the world. I'm thankful.