Tuesday, April 7, 2009

. . . spent excessive time

trying to save a couple of small paintings that probably should just have been scrapped in the first place. I don't know what got into me. . .I kept working them over and over. Now I have officiallly given up, put them away. Yesterday I spent some time cleaning up the mess in the studio that comes with a burst of activity and creativity. That burst has dissipated. . . I don't know where I'm going next. I'm in a holding pattern, waiting for the next burst. . . kind of like little kids who exhibit sleeplessness or excess crankiness right before they go through a growth spurt. That's me, waiting for the growth spurt. I have been reading a lot, finished two books in two days. I have been sleeping a lot, too. And I have been reading and watching art technique books and DVDs. And I feel like I have lost a bit of my own "style" of painting in trying to emulate some of the things I have seen in those books and on those DVDs. So I will continue to clean up the mess downstairs today, examine my paintings to see what I like and what I don't like about them, and try to find myself back to making my own art.


Leslie Avon Miller said...

Yep. Growth spurt. Incubation phase. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes of it.

Jeane said...

can be a huge trap, can't it Mary - other people's art we fall in love with.....staying true to ourselves is the constant challenge!

Regina said...

I appreciate your transparency. I relate to your inner workings and feel like part of your community.
What comes across to me in your posts is your PASSION for color and texture. They excite me, too.

~Babs said...

Well, it never works out the same anyway,at least for me.
I can observe all day long, someone else's work. And I DO love looking at all kinds of art. But at the end of the day, all I have is what is in me. I can't paint someone else's vision.
I'm eager to see what your spurt holds,,,,I'm sure it's gonna be worth waiting for.

Mary Buek said...

Yes, Leslie, "incubation" is a good word for what I think I'm doing.

Jeane: Yep, you're right, and I have fallen into that trap deeper than ever before. I think it has something to do with trying to paint more spontaneously, more freely, less prissy. Maybe I'm not meant to do that.

Regina: Thank you, you are a part of my community. I appreciate your comment. I must remember that passion and let it guide me.

Babs, I don't know if anything good will come of it; maybe just the decision to keep doing what I've always done. Just feel the need to grow, to learn, to improve. Need to apply what I've digested for my own use.

Martha Marshall said...

Oh, Mary -- I have sooooo been there. Especially the part about painting over and over a board or canvas until it seems to become forever jinxed.