Friday, December 5, 2008

. . .took a break




Yesterday I struggled with a painting. I wrestled with it. I painted and then I wiped all the paint off. Not once, not even twice. Many times. Then I got to the point where I liked about half of it and wanted to leave it alone, but had nowhere to go with the other half. Part of the problem was that I was again being too impatient, wasn't waiting for the paint to dry. So I created smears and shades of brownish-gray and mud. I completed soaked the canvas to the point that all the tape around the edges came unstuck. I will go back down today and try to make something of this painting. . .


The other day someone at the art supply store asked me if my painting was beginning to feel like a job. I honestly could answer no. At least not like any job I've ever had. No one is telling me what to paint (and that's why I couldn't ever do commissions); no one is telling me when to paint, or how, or what to use, or making me keep track of my time. It's all up to me, which is a responsibility as well as an advantage. There is no one else to blame for less than stellar performance.


So I have been thinking that some of my latest works are not what I want them to be. I am hurrying through stuff, which sometimes means I'm bored with the work. I can't blame it on lack of inspiration. . . seriously, there is inspiration everywhere if you only look. And I do have all those photographs that I took and that were the inspiration for many previous paintings. I guess my ADHD tendencies are kicking in. I want to experiment. So I think, since paintings are apparently not selling that well right now anyway, I will take a little break from painting and do a bit of experimental work. . . maybe with collages. . . using the various pieces of paper I have on hand and that I created last earlier this year. . . just messing around. Maybe I'll get so frustrated with that endeavor that I'll relish coming back to painting.

5 comments:

Catherine said...

I have just the opposite problem...all I do is experiment and never make anything *finished*. I always admire your discipline Mary.

Mary Buek said...

More like compulsion, Catherine. I'll bet you finish your experiments, don't you. And besides, your photography is stunning.

seth said...

It is always good to mix it ip Mary. Have fun experimenting!

Catherine said...

haven't finished anything in two years, Mary...STUCK.....oh well. I'm a picture making fool lately.

Mary Buek said...

Hi, Seth: You inspire me because you seem to mix it up a lot. The Danny Gregory-inpsired drawings you do are so good.

Catherine, I love your pictures, as well as your ability to write. And hey, you finish blog postings, right?