Monday, August 17, 2009

. . . just gave up




It's really hard to maintain a positive attitude when so many people around you are free-falling into despair. So for a while this weekend I hosted a small pity party, at which I was also the only guest. No refreshments were served.


Art sales at the show on Friday and Saturday were nonexistent. For a couple of days I contemplated just quitting the whole art thing. I had set up this weekend as kind of a test. . . could I survive doing what I want to do? The answer was obviously a resounding "NO."


However, after spending Sunday with extended family, the babies, both my kids, and going back to my hometown, and after re-entering that state of complete denial of reality, I feel okay again. Even if, by some miracle, I manage to find gainful employment in the corporate world again, or if I have to repeat "do you want fries with that?" for eight to ten hours a day, I still have the major part of the rest of the day to make art. I have set up another test for September. In the meantime I will continue to make art, enjoy my life, be grateful for all that is good and practice "do you want to supersize that?"

9 comments:

Lauren said...

Aunt Mary, I'm sure you will never have to say "do you want fries with that" outside of joking about it:). I was sad I missed you all yesterday, my mom said she had fun seeing you all and that betsy held court at Pizza Hut. I'm sure that was a site to see and I wish I could have been there!

Leslie Avon Miller said...

Bless your heart Mary. Just bless your heart.

layers said...

Don't despair--- course that is easy for me to say with paintings stacking up in my studio as well--- I keep telling myself it is the economy right now--- sorry I think you have it in your blood to create and we all have our ups and downs and goods and bads--- then I go back into my studio and get to work, and so will you.

Teri said...

Great post! I, too, have been feeling a part of that same party but I guess you didn't invite me...I just crashed without invitation. Oh well. Aren't we lucky to be able to have people to talk to about the way we feel and what is going on in our lives? Our blogs really help too. Keep up the positive attitude. Remember: ultimately we should be making art for ourselves because we HAVE to or NEED to. All the rest is just icing on the cake for that party!

Jazz said...

Pity parties are good now and then. I know they always help me pick myself up...

You might have to get a "real" job (although the "reality" of that particular waste of precious time is debatable), but you will always be a great artist - and that is so much more than most of us corporate drones have. You have a wonderful gift and though it might not earn you a living right now, never ever ever stop painting. Your art is beautiful.

mamadoc said...

Just read the post from Jazz. That says it all.

Sandra L. said...

Mary, don't give up. Your art is beautiful.

I too agree with Jazz's post. I think about giving up every day...but I won't.

I know I will have to get a "real job" soon, so I understand.

Anonymous said...

Mary,
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Hilarywho said...

I love the painting at the top of this post. & I know what a struggle it is to keep at your creative work against all odds, and how horid the thought of a "real" job. But you just gotta hang in there and keep working...