What If I . . .

. . . found my blog

2011-10-25T18:39:00.003-05:00

Yeah, hooray. . . it's been so long. I could not access anything on google, including my blog. But now, I'M BACK. I can't wait to share what I've been doing with everyone. See you as soon as I get my camera in action.

. . . reluctantly took cover. . .

2011-05-30T06:17:00.002-05:00

Unless you live under a rock, you are probably aware that we here in tornado alley have had quite a week of crazy weather. Joplin, Missouri is just a couple of hours south of here. Reading, Kansas is only about 10-15 miles south of where I grew up. Both were heavily damaged . . . Reading is so small that I believe almost every building in the town was either damaged or destroyed.

You would think that those occurrences would have given me a new appreciation for the power of nature and perhaps installed a bit more fear into me . . . and, really, it did. Around here, in my opinion, it's a matter of "crying wolf" though. The sirens go off frequently when nothing is going on. You become blase' about the possibility of total destruction. Imagine that.

So one day last week, someone came rushing in with the report that there was a possibility that several small tornadoes had been spotted (as opposed to one big ol' tornado) nearby. Sure enough, the sirens went off, although if we weren't listening for them, we may not have heard them in the building. Mass exodus to sub-basement containing the building's boiler room.

Very cool place with lots of old machinery, but I could not stay in one place. I wanted to see outside but of course there were no windows. . . just lots of stuff to fall on top of us if the building were to collapse. There's a definite advantage to working on the second floor. . . walking down to the boiler room doesn't take too long. But once we were down there, they would not let us go for a long time. Something close to an hour, maybe even longer.

My ADHD or maybe my claustrophia kicked in. It got hot down there. Clumps of people were clustered around laptops and Ipads. At one point, someone said a tornado was directly over the building. A security guard told me later that the clouds seem to part over the top of the building and the storm went around us. I was so glad to get out of that basement that I didn't even mind going back to work. I went back later to get these shots of the cleanest boiler room imaginable.

. . .perhaps inspired Joey. . .

2011-05-22T07:55:00.003-05:00

For some reason, Blogger is not allowing me to upload and post pictures today. Below are a couple of e-mails I received this week about my grandson's artistic endeavors. Kate is Joey's teacher at his school; Stephanie and Andy are his parents:

Dear Stephanie and Andy,

Last week I admired a piece of Joey’s; his grill, and asked if he would let me keep it. Joey agreed that I could take the grill home, but that I should also bring it back to school. I have enjoyed the grill all weekend, and have returned with it to school today.

The grill is pinned to the wall above the painting easel.

I respect Joey, and I like his work a lot. I wonder if I could ask Joey if I could buy this piece from him? I would be proud to make such a transaction if you and Joey approve.

Thanks
Kate

E-mail from Stephanie (an attorney, as if one couldn't tell from the text)

As you may know, Joey made a picture of a grill (attached). His teacher asked him last week if she could take it home with her. Joey grudgingly acquiesced, but asked that she return the picture on Monday. The teacher held up her end of this gentleman's agreement, but asked Joey Monday whether she could buy the picture from him. As he is a minor, the well-advised teacher understood the need to consult us in creating a binding contract with him. We gave permission, and the parties entered into grill-picture negotiations yesterday. The net result was that the parties had a meeting of the minds involving the following terms: Kate purchased the picture for the due and valuable consideration of a) three pieces of scrap paper; b) extra fruit at lunch; and c) five crisp new dollar bills. I believe that said dollar bills are earmarked to be used at the "concussion stand" at Betsy's next softball game. (As an aside, a week or so ago, Joey tried to purchase both Skittles and a Sprite at the concussion stand with a dollar, and learned a hard lesson from the oh-so-pleasant woman running the stand: you cannot buy Skittles and a Sprite for only $1.00. Apparently, Joe, like ScarlettO'Hara, plans never to go hungry again to the concussion stand. The upshot here: Always understand the motivation of the person with whom you are negotiating.) At the close of negotiations, Joey remarked, "I'm a businessman, Mom. Let's do some business!" Indeed.

I wish I could upload Joe's art. Subsequent to these transactions, Joe has apparently decided that art is a good way to make some money, as he has painted another three pictures for his "store" -- a couple of peppers and an orange.

Perhaps I can learn a few things from my grandson. . .

. . . waxed tissue paper

2011-05-15T09:43:00.002-05:00

and tried various other experiments with the leftovers in the studio/basement? The photo above shows one of my deconstructed screen printing experiments, done on tissue paper and dipped in encaustic medium.

This photo shows a jumbled-up clump of tissue paper that got stuck together by accident and wouldn't come apart without tearing, so the whole mess got dipped in the wax.

This is the left side of a sheet of tissue paper that for weeks received the paint left over from my brushes, rollers and brayers,

and this is the right side of the same tissue paper, dipped in wax.

And just for something a bit different, this is what I see when I sit outside on my front steps. The view has improved dramatically since Spring arrived. If I could actually paint things, I would start with the wild rose bush that has just started flowering. There used to be a house in this empty four acre lot; I have seen deer and a coyote. The neighbors tell me there are raccoons, possums, and a bobcat. I doubt the bobcat, but they swear. I do have a huge cat that hangs around my house, but she's pretty tame, so I don't think she's the bobcat.

Everybody have fun tonight. . .

. . . tickled myself silly

2011-05-08T07:45:00.002-05:00

Yep, I'm pretty pleased with myself. First of all, my camera is working again and I'm actually posting something on this blog. I have been enjoying all these other wonderful blogs and photos and paintings that everyone else has created, and contributing absolutely nothing. But here are some offerings. . .

These are all approximately 5"x7" monoprints from bigger paintings that I have been doing, on some linen-like paper no longer in use from the office. These monoprints tend to accumulate in various stages of completion, while I just keep layering stuff, until one or two finally look like they might be done. Everything about these is spontaneous, completely accidental. Doesn't say too much about my talent, does it?

These three combine all kinds of techniques I've been trying out recently. There is, of course, a bunch of acrylic paint. But there is also some of the deconstructed screen printing here, as well as using some of the thickened dye past without the screens. And lastly, just because I could, I dipped these in some encaustic medium. The backgrounds where there is no paint or dye are beautifully translucent, but I can't figure out how to display them so that's noticeable. Right now I just have black mats around them, which is okay, but they need to have light shining through them.

Two other accomplishments: (1) I got my Ipod working again, and all the songs on the Ipod downloaded back into the computer. I was afraid that when my playlist disappeared from the computer, all the songs I had dowloaded were lost. But no, it's so easy to get them back that I'm embarrassed that I hesitate as long as I did. (2) I went back to the old house and dug up a bunch of perennials and brought them back to this house. So yesterday I got them all planted. Mostly hostas and daylilies, which should be fine. And I planted the little blue pot above, too. Today I am starting another canvas, and I'm going to plant another two big pots, and then I'm done until I amass enough money to buy more. . .

Hope everyone has a happy Mother's Day.

. . . dreamed about projects

2011-04-10T09:04:00.002-05:00

Literally I have been having dreams, snippets of insight, flashes of inspiration, about a project that I've been thinking about. The things I want to include are absolutely MIXED media, everything from oatmeal (the color and the texture) to rusted paper to drywall compound, to canvas, scrim, burlap, threads, twine, newspaper, paper clay, papier mache. . . I have a notebook with four pages devoted to lists of things I want to include in this. . . project. . . thing. . . assemblage. Layers, digging through, tactile. . . all tones of natural, from white to ecru to beige to gray to black to rust, but all totally natural, in that it comes from a natural process, even if you have to fake it. painted corrugated cardboard, weathered cardboard, dangling things, rolled paper, rolls of used adding machine tape, dipped in wax, burned with an incense stick (by the way, I have rediscovered incense. . . it's way cool to smell if you don't use it in a tiny enclosed area) to created rows of little holes. . . and of course I have been collecting pictures, going through all my old photos, taking new ones, looking at everything with a new eye. . . an artist's eye. I can't wait to get started. But first, I must go get my hair fixed. Honestly, first time in a looooong time. I will be newly blonde when I start my project. Oh, that's a good color. . . blonde.

were absolutely terrified

2011-03-06T05:44:00.002-06:00

(Terrific trash heap, don't you think?)

Not long ago I listened to an interview of a famous photographer who was, on occasion, terrified when she went into her darkroom/studio. She was afraid it would be the last time she would create anything.

(Another trash heap, this one created by me)

I, too, am terrified. I'm terrified that I have already created the last thing I'll ever create that worth anything,

(All these collages are old, hidden away on my computer)

and I didn't realize it at the time.

(Because I haven't created anything for a while)

I am not necessarily thinking about anything sellable, just something that will satisfy me. The talent I see on the internet is staggering. Overwhelming. Creativity gone wild. Besides, Target and Home Goods sell perfectly agreeable art at prices that even I could afford (well, maybe not that cheap) so why would anyone buy my art.

(So I'm whining about it now)

And the fact remains, I haven't created anything good enough in months. I am reluctant to go down to the studio: it's too cold down there, it's too dark, it's a mess and I can't find anything I need because it's all packed up and I don't want to unpack because what if I have to move again and then I would have to pack it all up again. Oh, I have every excuse. . . yet I know the real reason. I'm afraid I won't be able to do it any more.

I've been through something like this before, many times even. I know something will happen that will see me through but I also know I need to keep working, making crap until I don't make crap any more. And I can't do that unless I go downstairs. Maybe that rodent of Betsy's and Joe's, whether human or animal, has something to do with my ennui. Perhaps it's time to banish that rodent. (Latest clue in rodent identification and entrapment: a chicken bone on the living room rug.)

. . . Betsy came over

2011-02-27T09:36:00.003-06:00

Since Monday was a holiday for both Betsy and me, we spent the day together. Betsy and Joe are convinced that my new house is either haunted or has been invaded by a mysterious "rodent, either human or animal" (per Betsy; and yes, I have known human rodents) and since the idea of a haunted house gives them nightmares, they have decided to detect and rid me of my rodent.

So when Betsy came to my house on Monday, she had an old-fashioned makeup case stuffed with things she would need to detect the rodent: a digital camera (kiddy-style); notebooks, pens, penlight; etc. She took pictures of anything that looked suspicious: tracks, the doggie door in the basement, the mysterious hose that turned itself on and spewed water all over the back yard, the puddle of water on the basement floor (because, "you know, Nana, not all urine is yellow." I don't want to know how she knows that.)

When she could reach no logical conclusion as to what was creeping around my house, she decided she wanted to "screen paint" and screen paint she did. Then she really got into using different things around the basement to make textures. When she wasn't painting, eating at Burger King, or picking out 20 books for me to buy her so she could give them to her teacher (which didn't happen), she was writing a book for Joey on the computer. What a kid.

When we got back to Betsy's house, Joe was very excited. In his art class that day, he had made me a rodent trap. Actually, he really did a very good job for the 3-year-old. You could tell he had put some thought into it. It was a paper trap with three sides, like an A-frame house, with the back fixed in place and a flap on the front for the rodent to enter. It was taped up securely. He was so proud and I was very impressed. He has a career in architecture or pest control in his future.

Remember always to play like little kids at the serious business of making art.

. . . voluntarily went outside

2011-02-20T10:11:00.002-06:00

Not just voluntarily, either, but eagerly. The temperature reached the 70s this week, and off I went on my lunch (1/2)hour with my camera. Not surprisingly, within a few blocks of where I work, I stumbled upon a building that had either fallen down or was in the process of being torn down. These pictures are from that place. I know, the one above is a bit weird, but that's probably why it appeals to me. I like the upper gray-white background with the orange bits.

My usual method of taking picture during lunch is definitely point, shoot, and get the hell out of there, which kind of limits what I'm left to deal with when it comes to editing the pictures. Many times I've wished I would have taken more time to actually study up close what I'm shooting. Like above, I don't know that the stones are necessary to the picture, but I kind of like the red stuff, which I truly hope is paint.

And here, I don't really like my crop, now that I see it here. Possibly this should be two separate pieces.

Love the natural crackled surface and the colors on this one. I think you can click on all of these and get bigger photos.

Okay, this one was taken in the parking lot across which I walk every day. And it was very very cold that day. And this is a puddle of ice. With a piece of chewing gum in it. I did not take this on the wonderfully spring-like day last week. I actually stopped on my way in to work and just pulled out the camera and shot this when the temps were probably below zero. And this one definitely needs cropping and editing. But don't you love the gum?

Long weekend for me; a benefit of working at a bank. Hope with me that I can get that painting done. It's calling my name. . . .

. . . gave my heart

2011-02-14T06:01:00.003-06:00

I generally despise these made-up commercialized semi-holidays that do nothing but make people spend a lot of money on a lot of nonsense. A bit of advice to the lovelorn: make everyday Valentine's day. Having said that, I will climb down from my soapbox, and on the way down, I will have an attitude adjustment.

This is a photo I posted on this blog a couple of years ago. I had been working on some monoprints and Betsy and Joe had left these red plastic cupcake molds around the house. The two just seemed to fit together. . .

I had the best week. . . started some art but didn't finish anything and have nothing yet to show for my farting around, as Leslie Avon Miller would put it. I took some photocopies of some of my unfinished stuff and hung them up around my cubicle at work. Now I can look at these and try to figure out how to improve or complete them as I work on taxes or CD interest or talk on the phone. Sometimes the best ideas sneak up when I'm thinking peripherally.

Hugs and kisses x o x o x o blah blah blah . . . oops, bad attitude.

. . .added to 10,000

2011-02-06T07:22:00.002-06:00

Have you all read or heard of Malcolm Gladwell's theory that being an expert at something takes a lot of work. . . his estimate is 10,000 hours. Well, this week's work did nothing but add to that total.

I have tried on this blog to post everything I create, whether I believe it to be good, bad, indifferent. I learn something from everything I make, and sometimes I learn that it's just not good enough. I figure anyone reading this blog could also learn from my mistakes or misbegotten efforts.

Which exactly is how I feel about these small pieces. I also learned that there is not one good place in this house to take good photographs, although it would help to have good subject matter.

I wouldn't say I was completely cured of my recent obsession with deconstructed screen printing. It's a ton of fun. And I learned from that process, too, which was the whole point. I certainly was never going to give up painting for screen printing. I wanted to figure out how to apply some of the screen printing technique to what I do. I also had a chance to unpack and re-evaluate and appreciate again some of the things I use to make texture and pattern.

We had snow this week. . . a lot. I spent a bunch of time shoveling, missed a day of work, froze my ass off down in the basement, but I am getting back in the swing of this art making business. Have a great week, everyone. Make more art.

. . . developed another passion

2011-01-29T07:23:00.006-06:00

for screen printing. . . deconstructed screen printing, anyway. The photos are terrible, I know. . . but I haven't used the camera for so long and I'm sure the settings need to be adjusted. Bear with me here. . . The picture above shows probably the first pull I did ever. . . didn't turn out too badly, did it?

I'm pretty sure this is the same screen as the first picture, but I added some red, hoping to get a good rich brown, but I quite like this result, too.

And here is totally different screen, larger than the first one.

And I think this is yet another screen, but it could be the same as #3. This one is interesting to me because the thickened dye I used wasn't all that thick and it dripped down, leaving those charming little circles to print off.

I am learning a lot. I printed all these on tissue paper, although I have printed on other papers I have around the studio, too. I chose these photos based only on whether the pictures were blurred or clear. The print paste and the thickened dye were what I had on hand. . . I have not yet been able to find back the powdered dye I need to make a new supply, and this supply was old and probably not as effective as a new batch would be.

I learned that putting the thickened dye on the back of the screen and laying objects in it will result in a screen that will last longer than if you put the screen on top of the objects and pull through it. I'm learning that the thickness of the dyes and the print paste make a difference in the finish product. I also learned that you can monoprint with this technique, and I have even screen printed over the top of some small pieces of stretched canvas that were waiting to be painted. Now I know, too, to always wear those damned gloves or you will have colored fingertips.

Don't know what I'm going to do with this tissue paper. Probably use it for collages. I did take some photocopies of one piece on the new color printer at work (but for heaven's sake, don't tell anyone I did that) and the results were astonishingly good. Oh, it's so good to be back experimenting, and saying, "what if I. . . " again.

. . . deconstructed some screens

2011-01-22T08:27:00.002-06:00

Nope, sorry, these aren't the results. My camera's batteries are dead, and since I have $3 to last me until next payday, I had to rethink my priorities and batteries didn't make the cut.

(I wonder why I picked this picture to show. . . blah.)

It is so much fun. . . deconstruction of anything is always fun. I used some old printing ink and print paste that I had mixed up a long time ago, and it really wasn't that good, but I got the idea of what to do. So I just finished playing the mad scientist in the kitchen with the blender (that will not be making any magaritas anytime soon because I had to use the good one because the one for the studio shot craps) and made up good clean batches.

You know how when you move, you pitch stuff that you think you will never need again and swear that you will never accumulate that much junk again in your life? That's what I did with all my extraneous plastic covered bowls, you know the kind, from butter or yogurt or deli meat. I had nothing to but my dyes into when they were blended. My kids' plastic drinking cups now will never touch human lips again.

And of course all my dyes are packed away somewhere and I can't find them. So I had to mprovise, since new dyes didn't make the budget either. I used some of the old thickened dye and combined it with the new print paste and made colors that way. I also used some of the used print paste, and it made a beautiful shade of copper. I hope art doesn't suffer from frugality. As if frugality is the only thing that would make my art suffer. Talent helps.

Next week, I believe the budget will allow for batteries, so I will show you all what I've come up with. I'm trying to figure a way to utilize this technique in my paintings. A good thing about moving is that I have rediscovered a huge amount of good stuff to make impression on the screens, as well as using them to create texture in my paintings. I'm off to have a wonderful art-filled weekend while it snows some more, again.

. . . wondered about this:

2011-01-15T08:04:00.002-06:00

With inspiration. . .

like this. . .

why. . .

am I . . .

not painting???

. . . can relax today

2010-12-24T09:07:00.002-06:00

so I wish everyone happy holidays and a restful and creative weekend.

. . . turned up again

2010-12-19T07:54:00.003-06:00

. . . just when everyone thought I was probably gone for good. It has been a very hectic few weeks trying to move into my new house and get settled, and keep working at the day job. And, I will admit, it has been a difficult time, financially, emotionally, and in almost every other manner I can think of. But now it's done, or mostly done, and I have settled into the little cottage. I tried very hard not to bring with me a lot of extraneous stuff. I wanted to keep only those things that had a special meaning to me, or were beautiful and functional, functional being the key in this tiny space. I think I was only semi-successful. It's cozy and comfortable, safe and close to work. It didn't turn out to be the cool clean modern city/loft space I had envisioned, but that's okay. I've always read about rooms had stacks and piles of books everywhere, and I thought that sounded wonderful. But I learned I don't like all that clutter. All my electronic equipment is hooked up and working, so I have the computer, the television, and my music. All my family and kids' pictures are in place, too. The closets are crammed and I can see that I will need to do a serious wardrobe edit soon. Under the bed is truly a great storage space, and those Spacebags are perfect. . . I wish I had thought of them. I am working on turning the basement into my studio but that's going to take a while. In the meantime, I have been working on a canvas but it's stumped me, and I'm going to move on to something else today.

So basically, I feel like maybe once again I've avoided the wrecking ball (oh, what a tie-in to the pictures.) I made some good contacts yesterday about both my art and my photography, and met some interesting new people, so I'm feeling hopeful about the future. Christmas is less than a week away, and the girl presents I have to buy are all ready; it's the boys that just puzzle me and I have no idea yet what to get. That's one of today's projects.

Soon I hope to again post new art here. For everyone that actually reads and enjoys my rumblings and ramblings, have a peaceful and creative holiday season. Love to all . . . Mary

. . .jumbled a post

2010-10-23T10:37:00.002-05:00

That is what I am offering today. . . a mixed bag of stuff I found browsing around my own picture files. I have so many photos of cool shapes and colors and grungey junky things that I could post every day for years just on what is already on the computer.

I have been very busy lately. Going crazy. I may have stopped myself, but I think it's just temporary. I could blow any minute. First, I finally quit smoking. On or about my birthday. The patch is a lifesaver. Perhaps not the best time to make this move. . . lots of stress here. but so what else is new? And I don't feel like I've quit. I feel like sucking up any second-hand smoke I can find. . . I feel like I could light one up at any minute and never look back. But so far, so good.

(Isn't this just the coolest picture?) I decided to beat the repossessors and get out of the house before they put all my stuff on the front lawn in the middle of December. So I rented a teeny tiny little place much much closer to work. I don't know what to do with all the stuff I can't take with me. But the house is cute. It has everything I require: a shower, a dishwasher, a basement, a garage with an automatic door, and a yard and garden, in what I hpe is a safe neighborhood. It also has a kitchen which I plan to paint today, a dinky little living room, two rooms that claim to be bedrooms, and actually quite a bit of closet space. The very best part for me, anyway, is the little terrace and the garden spaces. Everything I own that goes outdoors gets to move with me. It also has a Jacuzzi. . . can you beat that? Think I can become a Jacuzzi user? Can't quite picture it but . . .

My deepest sincerest thanks to Walter the Art Guy for coming through which enough scratch to pay for my first and last month rent and for a mover to relocate some of the bigger stuff, which happens on Monday. Above is one of the canvases Walter took with him last Saturday. Must have been in somewhat less of a frantic mood when I painted it. I am officially on vacation for the rest of the week from my day job, plus I get to take care of Betsy on Thursday and Friday. She told me she had received her very first report card in her whole life and it lots of plusses and check marks, but she needed to work on tying her shoes. I do so remember how hard it was to learn that particular skill, and also how hard it was to teach it to my kids. That, and blowing bubblegum bubbles and whistling.

Okay, this is the calm before the storm. . . let's go paint a kitchen.

. . . disliked big crowds

2010-09-26T08:23:00.003-05:00

Then I should not have gone to the Plaza Art Fair on Friday, the first night. It was people cram-packed, shoulder to shoulder, with dogs, kids in strollers, mood-enhancing drinks if one were lucky enough to get close to a place that dispensed them. People were not there to see art, because no one could get close to it, either. I have mere impressions of the art. . . from a distance and through a slight buzz of wine. But it did seem to me that there were more abstracts this year than I have seen in prior years. Does that reflect more interest on the part of the purchasing public or the preference of the jurists of the show?

Speaking of the purchasing public, Walter my art guy called early in the week. He was absolutely ebullient, and if you had shared Walter's phone calls with me for the past couple of years, you would know that "ebullient" is not a word that usually describes Walter. He had sold several pieces. . . what recession?? Then he called a couple of nights later, and he had sold even more. Bless his heart. "Paint, Mary, paint," he urged.

I have been painting, finishing up on average one piece per week. The one above is entitled "that troublesome blue one." Is it finished? Don't know, they aren't ever finished until they leave here. This was inspired by a scrap sitting on my table. The scrap is probably better, but I imagine it would be hard to sell a 2" x 2" torn piece of paper.

. . . were extremely pleased

2010-09-19T07:14:00.002-05:00

with myself. I'm 5'9" usually, unless I've shrunk, which I guess is a possibility. Yesterday I bought a pair of boots with the highest skinniest heel I could find. They are wonderful, and I'm as tall as an Amazon. And the boots are comfortable. Seriously, the heels are lethal weapons. I can't wait until I can wear them with my skinny jeans.

Oh, dear. . . it sounds like I'm having an over-reaction to my birthday. Nothing as disgusting as an old lady trying too hard. Maybe I'll have to re-evaluate . . .

Above, kind of a happy accident.

. . . neglected this blog

2010-09-11T06:39:00.003-05:00

but you all know how it is. . . sometimes things are just so bad you don't want to even think about them, and other times, things are just so good that you can't tell about them. Somewhere in between there, I have managed to make some art. The painting above is one of the latest. See those little circular things interspersed among the scratches? I knew those depleted calculator paper rolls would be useful for something. I semi-woke up one morning and staggered down to the basement, grabbed a pencil and a pastel stick, and wildly marked all over this canvas. And I liked it, and the marks stayed.

So for my next magic trick, I'm going to try Kerr Grabowski's deconstructed screen printing. I bought her DVD and have been studying it. I bought the appropriate dyes, ordered the sodium alginate, got some printing paper, and mixed up the pastes and the dyes. I purchased one screen, which is going to be too big for what I have in mind, but I've made several smaller ones out of foam core, so I'm ready to rock and roll. Except I can't find my gloves, and I learned when I mixed that dye that gloves are a necessity. Most of what was on the DVD was about dyeing fabric, which may come in handy someday, but mostly I'm interested using the process in my painting, most likely on paper. I am so attracted to the randomness of the deconstructed screen printing process, but I think I like the regular old screen printing process, too. And mixing the pastes and dyes. . . well, I felt like a happily crazy mad scientist.

This week I celebrated my 60th birthday. Unfortunately, I wasn't in Europe with my sisters, as we had once discussed. We could have done some damage in Europe, I think, and I am certainly in the mood. Now we'll have to wait until one of them turns 60. And I win the lottery.

. . . boogied at midnight?

2010-08-15T09:53:00.002-05:00

There are some definite benefits to living alone. Oh, forget about the house being in foreclosure, the IRS's idle threats, the lack of money, my inability to sell my house or find another place to live that I can afford; or the worldly possessions I'm shoveling out of here faster than they came in . . . I can't do anything about any of that. So I dance in the dark.

Last night I had to reprogram my Ipod and after a lot of messing around, I got it going again. And shortly after 12:00 I found myself dancing all by myself to a rousing blasting version of Opus 17 (Don't You Worry About Me) by the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Okay, so you know I must be pretty old to enjoy that song, but I surely did. That is not something that would have happened BEFORE. I might have disturbed someone.

I can eat salad for supper every single night. . . or Fritos and salsa. . . or Dove chocolate and pecan ice cream. I can paint at 5:00 in the morning. I can have a shower-optional day and lounge on my deck and read for five straight hours without anyone making me do anything at all. I can wander over to the neighbors' house and visit for as long as they let me. I can go out for a drink after work (if only someone would ask me). I can leave here whenever I want to and come home whenever I want to and I don't have to check in or out with anyone.

"I'll be strong, I'll try to carry on. . . so don't you worry 'bout me."

. . . shared my experiments

2010-07-27T20:32:00.003-05:00

I've been experimenting, as maybe you know if you read this blog, and finally I have actually come up with some stuff that might work. Being frugal from necessity, I have save many a shop paper towel, as well as many pieces of deli wrap paper that I use in my monoprinting experiments, and just odds and ends of different kinds of surfaces upon which to paint. I have been trying to figure out a way to incorporate some of the deli paper because it has great impressions on it. I guess what I'm doing is a combination of monoprinting and using acrylic skins. The picture above shows what happens when I spread a thin layer of gloss gel medium on a paper shop towel and adhere a piece of deli wrap to it until the medium dries. Then yank off the deli paper and, Bob's your uncle, there you have it. The black parts are from the deli paper. The paint from the deli paper just transfers itself to the shop towel. . . amazing, isn't it? I'm sure someone has thought of this before, but leave me to my "invention," humor me, okay? Additionally, the gloss gel medium gives the paper towel some strength and an almost leather-like texture. I love it.

This is the same technique but on just a piece of pretty heavy scrap paper. This one has three different layers of deli paper leavings.

And here's yet another sample, where the white part is the transferred portion. Gesso works really well with this method, by the way.

The experiments went a bit awry with this one. Instead of the deli paper, I used saran wrap with the gloss gel medium. Let me just say that I learned that saran wrap will stick to paper with medium. The black is what was on the saran wrap. I can't tell if it transferred, but it doesn't really matter.

And this one. . . the black and the blue parts were transferred from deli paper. I might add that the gel medium will also dry into the cracks, creases and crevices of the deli paper, adding an interesting texture.

Now, here is what hasn't worked, yet: Transfers on both sides of a baby wipe (still isn't dry after three days) and transfers to a piece of gessoed canvas (a bit drier, but still pretty wet). Both of those are big gooey messes at the moment. I keep you posted if I discover anything else.

. . . defined the darkness

2010-07-17T09:43:00.002-05:00

No, not the blackness of my soul, or the depths of a bad mood. No, the definition of darkness is a Target store in the middle of a torrential downpour when the lights go out.

Matt and I were in Target last evening when that happened. Some people shrieked; toddlers cried; one beautiful young girl used the time wisely to jump into her boyfriend's sheltering arms, cringeing in happy fear. I didn't see that until the lights came back on, but he looked a bit disappointed not to have had a longer time playing the hero.

The 30% possibility of showers became very hurricane-like. Apparently 60-mile-per-hour winds and hail accompanied driving rain. I was happy to be off the roads. When I got home, there was a huge limb blocking my driveway, and the the neighbors were busily using their chainsaw to cut it up. Well, it was their tree, after all, so it only seemed fair.

Here are some more blunderings. . . maybe that's the name of a series??? I'm really into monoprinting. Well, I think that's what I'm doing, anyway. Lots of blotting up paint from one surface to another. Using deli paper, cardboard, matboard, old office file folders, plastic wrap, plastic bags from the grocery store, baby wipes.

Without having to judge each piece on its monetary value, I feel pretty good about loving some of these happy accidents. I was going to say they were completely random, but they are not. . . I still choose the colors, the combinations, the direction in which I apply the blots of paint, and the parts to leave alone.

. . . blundered around aimlessly

2010-07-11T20:44:00.002-05:00

in my studio. Not as frequently as I would like, but I'm still just experimenting. These pictures are the results of some recent blundering. . .

Every day I feel less and less like an artist, and more and more like a corporate drone. And it pisses me off, because it took a long time for me to actually admit to myself, and to others, that I was an artist. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be gainfully employed. I do like to eat.

These are just some small samples of my black and white with two other colors experiments.

Maybe everyone has already discovered this foam stuff that you heat up with a hair dryer or a heat gun, and then press the foam into whatever kind of texture you may have at hand. That's what I did with a bunch of washers I had laying around. I used the foam to stamp on this piece. If you get tired of whatever is on the foam, you heat it up again and the imprint disappears. And, it's cheap, too.

I go down to the studio to start some pieces, thinking that while they dry, I'll start packing up the art supplies I won't be needing, at least for a while. But I never seem to be able to start that project. I'm in complete denial, I guess. As good a place as any to live, if you ask me. Of course, the reality of the situation, when it becomes irrevocable, is really going to bite, as they say. Oh, well, at least I will have had a few peaceful weeks.

. . . were truly amazed

2010-06-26T08:13:00.002-05:00

I was headed for a meltdown the other evening. My attitude was bordering on self-pity. . . I felt a hint of a tear in the corner of my eye. Hysteria was looming. As a remedy, my daughter suggested that I join a gym, or, at the very least, become a member of a book club. Oh, Stephanie, you know me better than that; me at a gym? It is to laugh. I am not a joiner, not since high school, when I signed up for everything to get out of class as often as possible. I am simply a hermit. So I paint. And here's the truly amazing part: absolutely everything that was bothering me disappeared with the fortuitous stroke of the brush; a line placed just perfectly, but accidentally, where it was meant to be; a combination of colors that meshed into something unexpected but luscious; an experiment that produced something beyond my expectations. All was right with the world again. How could anything be wrong when I was so delighted with my art? The pictures here were not part of that painting session, but rather are just things I had already scanned. Again, just experimentation for the sake of play.

This week I decided to try to impose some rules on my play. That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Anyway, I cut up some foamcore into 5" x 6" pieces; I also used some abandoned office envelopes and some of my stash of heavier papers from an artist's estate sale. I decided I would limit myself to using only black, white, and two other colors. I intended to use unexpected color combinations, or at least colors I normally don't use. That's really not working out that well. I find I gravitate back to my comfort zone colors very quickly. I applied extra heavy gesso to all the pieces and after they dried, started to mess around. I wanted to work quickly, intuitively. Here's a tip: if you are experimenting, and if you want to save your "good" artist grade paints for your "good" artist-grade paintings, go to Home Depot and get the little pots of Behr sample paint. They are cheaper than the art-grade stuff, and (here's an inspired idea) the lids have tiny little brushes attached. Way cool.

Don't really have a lot of time to surf the net any more, but I did come across an artist I like a lot that I haven't noticed before. His blog is here. And there is a program on our local NPR station featuring a local gentleman, who I plan to stalk and marry one day, just because he recommends exactly the kind of music I like but have never heard before. I don't remember his name and I have no idea what he looks like; he could look like a troll for all I care. I just love his voice and his taste in music. In a recent program about new music by woman, he featured V V Brown and I love every single track on her album. Tell me what you think.

Off to start a hot, humid, stay-indoors art-filled weekend. Have fun.

. . . really make art

2010-06-22T17:43:00.002-05:00

Yes, I do. . . just nothing very good or saleable. But that's okay, because my NY art guy Walter tells me he hasn't sold any of my paintings for a long time. So it's a good time to just play. There's no pressure, just experimenting. I hope I become a better artist because of it. The play should count toward the 10,000 hours one must put in to become an expert, according to that book, the title of which escapes me at the moment, and I'm too lazy to go look it up.

One thing I believe is that whatever I create, I must create it completely from my own hands. I don't like to use other people's stencils, stamps, patterned paper, magazine pictures, words or type, whatever. I'm not too crazy about creating my own, either, but it's better that way for me. However, the little painting above does use a purchased stencil-type thing, something on sale at Michael's by Tim Holtz, but I think I'm using it wrong. I am going to keep using it like that, though, because I like the results.

I was telling my friend Jan at work about the other weekend when I was experimenting with artistically burning stuff, just checking out what would happen. I had a butane torch on the driveway in the sun and couldn't really tell whether the torch was lit or not. One of the less stellar results was that I burned a hole in a canvas, which is, after all, a look, is it not? After Jan quit laughing at me, she asked me if I just thought about art all the time. And I realized, yes, I did. All the time. And that perhaps explained to her my difficulty in grasping the accounting principles that my real paying job requires me to understand. But don't you artists think about art all the time? Everything has potential for inspiration. Except maybe those accounting principles.

One of my favorite artists is Susan Lenart Kazmer. She astounds me in her creativity. . . I mean, really, using little pencils or bullet casings to create amazing jewelry. My friend told me she had seen Susan's new line of jewelry findings at Michaels, so I just had to check it out. Too late. . . it was literally all gone, every single piece. I figured that part of the appeal was the sheer volume of the pencils and/or bullet casings (or are they shells, I don't know) she used to create her jewelry. So I thought, okay, what inane objects do you have an unlimited supply of that you could use in your art. Well, my calculator tape. . . endless rolls of it. . . because I could add three numbers three time and get three different answers. So I use a ton of that. Deer poop, always finding that in the garden. It's really the only way I get to see my day lillies, after the deer have processed what they ate. I have rejected the idea of using deer poop in my art, although, again, it's a look, I guess. But I have started saving my adding machine tapes, rolling them up in tight little coils, and dumping them in my leftover coffee cup. Don't know where this is going, but I'll keep you posted.

Too much rambling going on here, so I'll see y'all later.

. . . created mobile gardens

2010-06-08T05:30:00.002-05:00

Ah, yes, hope springs eternal. . . so in the hope that I will sell the house sometime, my gardening has been limited this spring to cleaning up and keeping the weeds at bay. Nothing new has been planted in the ground, not even to fill gaps left plants that didn't make it over the winter.

Everything I have planted is in pots. I know I will live to regret that when the weather heats up to 98 in the shade with oppressive humidity and blood sucking insects don't let me get further than a step or two out of the house before they attack. I will still need to water those pots.

I was inspired to create this wreath by something similar made by the designers at Red Cedar Gardens in Stillwell. It's my favorite place to visit for gardening inspiration. Most of the stuff I used was stuff I already had. The falling-apart grapevine wreath had been hanging out in the yard for a year. I stuffed it with some dirt, planted the little mossy things, crammed in a bunch of dried moss, and added the candle. Cool? I spritz it with my water bottle and hope that it will survive the summer.

. . . were experimentally inspired

2010-06-06T08:18:00.002-05:00

The last few days have reminded me of when I first started making art. Everything was an experiment, everything was new, and I didn't know anything about anything.

Like then, I'm having fun playing with various techniques that are new to me. In fact, I think I'm making them up as I go along. These techniques involve deli paper, wax paper, tissue paper, vinyl shelf paper, brayers, rubbing with my hand (I have a blister on my pinky), old envelopes, canvas, foam core, whatever else I can find at hand. . .

or underfoot, because my basement is a horrible mess. I can't find any tools, because they are buried under piles of papers. All my scrapers and pallette knives are caked with gesso, paint, ink. No brushes have been injured in this quest, however. Larger pieces of printed tissue paper and canvas dry on the floor. You may someday see footprints in my art.

And, like way back when, I'm having varying degrees of success. Some of these paintings are just awful, others are just okay, and there are even a few that I like. But most importantly, I'm playing, learning, inspired again, and it just doesn't matter.

In between bursts of creativity, I'm reading Carlos Ruiz Zafron's The Angel's Game. I love the following passage:

. . . there are a lot of people with talent and passion, and many of them
never get anywhere. This is only the first step toward achieving anything in life. Natural talent is like an athlete's strength. You can be born with more or less ability, but nobody can become an athlete just because he or she was born tall, or strong, or fast. What makes the athlete, or the artist, is the work, the vocation, and the technique. The intelligence you were born with is just ammunition. To achieve something with it you need to transform your mind into a high-precision weapon. . . (E)very artist's life is a small war or a large one, beginning with oneself and one's limitations. To achieve anything you must first have the ambition and then talent, knowledge, and finally the opportunity.

. . . enjoyed doing nothing

2010-05-30T12:34:00.002-05:00

That's what it feels like. I have another whole day and a half to enjoy myself before I have to start thinking again about CD interest and where to put it and making sure I don't screw something up inadvertently.

It also feels like my creativity has split. I'm soldiering on through it by painting small pieces, monoprinting even smaller pieces, and sometimes completely ruining good pieces by going way too far.

This piece is going to my friend at work, Jan, who has no trouble whatsoever asking for something. I like that in a person. Just tell me what you want; I will either say yes or no. No problem. It's a companion piece to another one I gave her last week. It's a unofficial monoprint, 4 x 6" . I wish I hadn't put the circles on it now. I went too far.

. . . met a friend

2010-05-22T10:00:00.002-05:00

My internet friend Miki Willa e-mailed me a few weeks ago to tell me she was going to be in Kansas City last weekend for a wedding. We met for lunch and a photo outing last Sunday, and had a great time. It was so good to visit with a fellow artist whose taste for pictures runs similar to mine. As it turns out, the bride, a relative of sorts to Miki, married a young man whose great-grandparents lived in my hometown. His great-grandfather was the mayor for almost all the years I grew up there, and we were all members of the same church. They lived a block from my parent's house. I knew the groom's grandparents and played with his father when we were both young. Small world, indeed.

I took Miki to all my favorite photo places. The first place was River Market, where we found a brick building being demolished. Lots and lots of photo ops there. . .

then we went to the West Bottoms. We didn't cover much territory there, because each site was just ripe for rusty decaying photos. . .

Miki and her family stayed on the Country Club Plaza, absolutely the most iconic place in Kansas City and a lovely location. I told her that I would take her to see all the lowlights of this city, and I think I lived up to that promise. We ate lunch at Ponacks, one of the best Mexican restaurants here, on Southwest Boulevard, and took pictures of the old brewery behind it and underneath Interstate I-35 and then, a bit further down the street, the old grain elevator.

The day was rainy and gloomy and I was driving my daughter's gigantic Tahoe, very unfamiliar and different from my little car, which was being repaired. After I dropped Miki off at the hotel, I misjudged the distance between two other SUVs and ripped the mirror off one and scraped Stephanie and Andy's car down the passenger side. Just another blip on the radar screen of my life.

These are just the black-and-white pictures I took. There are dozens. I can't wait to see what pictures Miki came up with. . . probably the same things. Thanks, Miki, for being my snooping-around-KC friend. And if anyone else wants to visit, be sure to call. I'm available as a tour guide.

. . . were a grandmother

2010-05-08T10:21:00.002-05:00

In honor of Mother's Day tomorrow, I'm showing off my little ones. In fact, I don't think I've ever shown a picture of Nora (above) before. What a little sweetheart she is. Her first birthday will be July 9. My sister Ann knitted her darling cap. The hat and the baby are perfect.

And here's Joey. . . it's been quite a while since I've put up a picture of him. He's growing up so fast, doing everything he can to keep up with his big sister. He turned three at the end of March. He seems so much older than three, though. He's very smart, just a joyful kid.

And here's my mom and Betsy. My mom is 83 and Betsy is five. Doesn't Mom look great? Betsy is a dandy. . . I think she's wearing multiple layers of clothing for some kind of fashion statement. Wisely, her mother chooses her battles, and what Betsy wears isn't one of them. Betsy is also very smart and beautiful, and she will start kindergarten in the fall.

I miss having the time to spend with them. Joey and Betsy are great company; Nora is still a bit uncommunicative, but she is such a happy baby that I know she's going to be a lot of fun, too. Thanks to both my kids, Matt and Stephanie, and to my son-in-law, Andy, for being such great people. I'm proud of them all. It's easy being their mom.

. . . offered a bargain

2010-05-03T05:48:00.002-05:00

If someone would buy this garden, I would thrown the house in for free.

. . .took a break

2010-04-27T05:42:00.002-05:00

at least from taking pictures of ruins, rust, and remains. . .

I've thought it before, that I would quit looking for old nasty stuff . . . but then I come up with pictures like these. Enlarge them to really get the effect that I do.

I wonder if taking these pictures have any effect on how I paint. . .

and many times I wish I could paint the photograph.

I doubt I'll be able to resist looking for rust, ruin, remains.

. . . saw nightmarish qualities

2010-04-25T06:53:00.002-05:00

in these photographs. I was driving around yesterday, running errands, and spied a bunch of rusty stuff on a side street. I circled the block and came upon a bunch of old abandoned moving vans.

These pictures are all of a step on one of the vans that was covered with some kind of goo. . . I didn't touch it, but took some pictures, noticing the interesting textures.

I certainly had plenty of clunkers in this batch of pictures, but these, I thought, are phenomenal, albeit creepy, scary. There are things that look like bodies, fossils, things trying to crawl out of some primordial ooze, maybe. . . just use your imagination.

Such wonderful things just happen, don't they? To people, too, I think. I must keep that in mind.

Although I didn't paint, I did clean up my art space, which took a long time. I also went to visit a gallery where I have some paintings that just aren't selling, thinking I would take them home. The owner talked me into leaving them there. . . I guess I defintely won't sell them at home. I still have almost a fully day today to get something started. . .

. . . have had it

2010-04-23T06:15:00.002-05:00

It's been such a crappy week, honestly. My normal equanimity in the face of staggering odds (okay, a bit of hyperbole there) was not in evidence. Let me share with you the occurrence that just put me over the edge. A while back, while I was still married, I noticed that my electric bill was only about $8, but did I question it? Not at first. Then every month for about a year it continued to be $8. A real moral dilemma here. . . do I report the broken meter or do I just continue paying the minimum charge? Everyone I asked just looked at me like I was crazy. . . of course don't report it, are you nuts? Except for Ann, my little sister, who warned me that karma could bite me in the ass if I wasn't careful. So I faithfully sent in my $8 every month, rationalizing that the meter guy read the meter every month and if he couldn't see that it hadn't moved one tiny bit in all that time, it was actually KCPL's problem, not mine.

Then one day I get a bill from KCPL for $2,000. And a listing of my payments that had been reversed, so it looked like I had not paid for months. By that time I didn't have $2,000 or even $2, so I couldn't have paid it, and besides, as far as I was concerned, the electric company had just arbitrarily picked a number and said I owed it, even though it was their mistake. By this time, the husband had split and KCPL had his name on the account, so I even quit getting the normal monthly bills, since they were going to his forwarding address. . . well, one of them, anyway. And of course he wasn't going to pay them or even tell me about them. Probably didn't even open them. So I went on-line and registered with KCPL as my husband just so I could access the current monthly charges, which I paid faithfully, on time. But I didn't put a dent in the $2,000 broken meter charges.

Wednesday night when I come home from work, my garage door opener didn't work. I went in through the front door and found a note from KCPL: "We stopped by to collect $2,000 but you weren't home so we shut off your power." Just f-ing superb. I called to explained the situation in tones just short of hysteria, and made arrangements to pay the $2,000. But KCPL would not turn on the power again that night. They claimed to have "one business day" to get the power back on. I didn't think I could manage to spend the night and get ready for work the next day without power, so I packed up my stuff and spent the night at my son's house. The power came back on about 4:15 p.m., as far as I can tell.

Keep in mind that this was just the culmination of all the rotten things that have happened recently. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to get up every morning. Now, besides everything else, I'm a deadbeat who gets her power turned off the minute the weather warms up and the power company decides they need their $2,000, which they "estimate" is what I owe them. Okay, I've vented, I feel better. I even have today off work, but it is raining so I can't work in the garden and the mechanic can't get my taillight fixed today for some reason. So I plan to stick around the house and make some art. That, too, will make me feel better. And Ann was right, karma just took a bit bite out of my butt.

These photos of bridges are actually for a painting I have in my mind. I can't figure out exactly how I'm going to execute it, though, and it's driving me nuts. I just don't have the skill or expertise or knowledge to know what to do to come up with what I see in my mind's eye. This particular bridge, or actually a viaduct, is in a small nondescript park right on the Kansas River in Kansas City, Kansas.

. . . pictured an elevator

2010-04-17T07:33:00.001-05:00

an old abandoned (?) grain elevator, found on my wanderings during lunch.

There's plenty of inspiration here for paintings. . .

and these are just from one side of the place, and the camera's batteries went dead too soon, so I will go back next week.

I admit it. . . I'm getting a little tired of taking pictures of junk, rust, decay, falling apart things. I think I should be taking pictures of warm sandy beaches, tropical islands, the ocean, sand, sun, maybe an close-up of a margarita, blended, with salt. Kind of hard to find all that in Kansas. Maybe the margarita, though, now that you mentioned it. . . join me tonight, okay? We'll toast to Art. And anyone else who happens to be around.

. . . took my advice

2010-04-15T05:42:00.002-05:00

and actually got out of the car to take these pictures at lunch time earlier this week.

I found an amazing metal fire escape hanging precariously from the side of yet another derelict building.

The whole thing looked like it could fall any time, but I got right up and under it and shot some quick pictures.

These are all rusted metal. . .

beautiful pictures, in my mind, with little or no practical value.

. . . visited with family

2010-04-13T05:55:00.003-05:00

My baby sister came home last week for the first time in a couple of years. She now lives in Pennsylvania. Almost the whole family got together at my mother's home.

I took a ton of pictures of the family, but these shots were taken on a walk downtown to watch an antique car parade that never actually got started, at least not as long as we waited there.

I have found more wonderful photos in that little town, even though I usually get there after the old junkyard (metal recycling place) is closed at noon on Saturdays. Everyone knows everyone else, and so if I had really wanted to shoot in the junkyard, my brother said he could go get the keys from the owner. That's living in a small town. . .

My other brother has an auto bodyshop in that town. All I had to do was wander around behind his building and sure enough, there were lots of interesting things waiting to inspire me.

These pictures have taught me something about taking pictures in the city where I work. I need to actually get out of the car when I take pictures. They come out much better. And I need to start painting again. The spirit is willing but the body is tired, tired, tired.

. . . focus on green

2010-04-10T09:01:00.002-05:00

A lot of the decrepitude that I've taken pictures of in the last week seem to feature some shade of green . . .

maybe old green paint doesn't hold up very well. . .

this one is a favorite. . .

and you just have to appreciate the texture on this door . . .

and the desolation of this site.

. . . explored industrial remnants

2010-04-08T05:57:00.002-05:00

Most of the time I take shots of these types of buildings and crop to something that interests me. However, today I'm showing some pictures of the actual buildings, because they intrigue me. This triangle-shaped building is one of my favorites. The windows are boarded up so I don't believe there's anything inside it.

This building is in pretty bad shape, but look. . . there's a window unit air conditioner up there. I would like to know if there's an office up there or if it's just a reminder of better times. . .

This shot was taken deep in the area that was either the West Bottoms of Kansas City, Missouri or the Fairfax District of Kansas City, Kansas. The state line runs right through the middle of this area. Yes, there's a street named "State Line". . .

I like this shot. But I wonder about the past of these buildings, and I really wonder about their future. I wish there was a way to preserve these pieces of history but I fear they will continue to deteriorate. It's probably just not economically feasible to restore them.

Just a few blocks away from these buildings are vast new aluminum-sided warehouses and the UPS main station, with acres of paved parking lots, chain-linked fences and semi tractor-trailers lined up nose to tail. But have you noticed anything missing from these pictures? There are no people. There are definite signs of human activity, though. Lots of tagging. . . nothing even artistic, just gang signs, I guess, not that I would know a gang sign from a stop sign. I love these old buildings. I wonder about what went on inside them, when they were new, cutting edge, state of the art. I wonder about the men and especially the women who were employed here. I wonder what happened to the original owners of the buildings. . . did they prosper? Do their families still own these buildings? What scandals and secrets do these walls keep? I can't think about it too much. . . because I would want to find out and I don't have time right now. Definitely a project.

. . . finally finely finished

2010-04-05T05:38:00.002-05:00

repairing a painting. . . I would have preferred to start from scratch. I will send it off to its new home today. I'm tired of dealing with it. I'm sick of looking at it. And worst of all, I have no idea what caused some of the paint to crack, only on the very edges.

So it was a productive weekend. Worked in the yard some, cleaning up the most obvious debris from a tough winter. Finished my taxes, completed the census report; I'm good with the Feds now. Played the Easter Bunny with the babies. Had a few house showings. ETC

Now I can get back to making new art. Have a creative week. everyone.

. . . added local color

2010-03-31T05:20:00.002-05:00

Here are some more photos from wandering around new areas of town on my lunch period. The one above is a bit like the one I showed here a few days ago. I like the composition of this one better.

And this is another shot of another boarded-up glass door in the same building. The reflections in the glass are not as prominent in this shot. It seems like a rather gloomy nightmarish picture. But interesting.

I had to park so far away from the office yesterday that I should have just walked from home (not really, it's like 35-40 miles.)

But at least I got these two shots of companion thingamabobs on a set of steps. I will keep snapping these shots and showing everyone a macro view of this place. . .

. . . used orange plastic

2010-03-29T05:59:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, I found some of that orange plastic grid stuff that construction workers use. This small piece is the first time I tried it out. I need to work with it some more, but I see lots of potential. On this piece, I laid it on top of a canvas prepared with extra heavy gesso and smeared (okay, I'm having an elder moment here, can't remember the real name of the medium) a product that is supposed to dry to the texture of watercolor paper. The different texture didn't make much difference in the finished product, but it was an interesting experiment anyway.

It was a busy weekend, no time for art, some personal frustration about selling the house and repairing a canvas and always always always finances. As I mentioned to a friend the other day, it seems like it really does take a lot of energy to maintain a positive attitude, and sometimes I'm just emotionally exhausted.

. . . found more inspiration

2010-03-26T05:51:00.004-05:00

Yesterday on the way to and from the post office I wandered around some different areas in downtown. Wonderful photo opportunities. Like the boarded-up window here. . .

and the surface texture of this old retaining wall. . .

and the backside of this garage (this photo could use some more editing, I think. . .)

and once again, one of my favorite subjects, the dumpster, this one completely rusted. . .

and finally, this kind of creepy picture. . . it is a boarded-up doorway. In the glass you can see the reflection of trees across the street. I can see monsters' claws or bat wings . . . disturbing but cool. Enjoy the day and have a great weekend.

. . . am always surprised

2010-03-24T05:47:00.002-05:00

at the end results of my paintings. It seems that they never come out the way I had originally intended them. This one is an fine example. I think you can tell that I have been influenced by the photographs I have been taking recently. . . the ones of the buildings I am encountering on my wandering trips through the neighborhoods around my workplace. This is a small piece, a practice piece, if you will, about 6 x 9", on canvas. I don't know why I call it a practice piece. I very rarely paint a bigger piece based on a small painting.

Last night, instead of working on my new painting, I had to make some repairs to a canvas that has already been sold. I would rather have painted the whole piece again than repair it. . . I don't even know if my efforts will correct the problem. I painted the piece a couple of years ago and I'm glad it's sold, but I don't like the fact that it needs repairs and I can't identify what caused the problem.

. . . showed more shots

2010-03-20T11:02:00.005-05:00

from my alley explorations. The photo above is obviously a crop of the picture of the building I so loved in my last post. There were so many ways to crop that picture.

This one is more concrete with rust stains from a metal fence . . .

and so is this one.

And although this is not an abstract photo, I just love it. It looks like a huge tangled mess. I hope some utility worker can perform the delicate surgery required to reactivate this thing, because it looks like it's broken to me. Your utility dollars at work. Neurons? Axons? Dendrites, anyone? (I'm sorry, I'm showing off there. . . I actually had to look those words up yesterday.)

. . . wandered through alleys

2010-03-17T06:01:00.002-05:00

during lunch time yesterday. I love the picture above. . . the textures and colors of the building are amazing. The effects of deferred maintenance, in real estate jargon. Click on the picture to enlarge it. I didn't crop this one because I wanted to show you the building itself, but it's evident there is inspiration for paintings here.

Juicy colors and textures on a concrete wall below a rusted metal fence.

Hubbell telescope-like shot, only this is of the Deffenbaugh Disposal garbage dumpster. . .

and another side of the same dumpster. You just have to love an old city with alleys.

. . . took a week

2010-03-14T09:25:00.002-05:00

to complete this small painting? And most of it was done yesterday afternoon. Last week I decided that since I wake up every morning at 5:00 a.m. anyway, I might as well "honor my art" as my friend and the fabulous artist and art coach Leslie Miller would say, and paint instead of reading the paper or doing the crossword puzzle or anything else for an hour. So I started this small study, an experiment for the bigger version, one very early morning last week. The problem was the drying time. Even with acrylic paint, and even creating two paintings at the same time, without sufficient drying time, I was wasting my time, turning everything to a muddy mess. Especially this painting, where I used really thick applications of both extra heavy gesso and paint. So I will just keep trying to integrate all the various pieces and bits of my life into one satisfying whole, where I manage to accomplish everything I need to do to keep body and soul together. And I guess if it takes a week to finish a painting, then it just does.

. . .shared the results

2010-03-10T05:41:00.002-06:00

of some playing in the studio. Here are more of those little pieces that I keep next to the "real" painting I'm working on. Sometimes they simply amaze me.

My weekend was very busy, and I didn't have an opportunity to make any art. I found myself getting cranky. I think I just need a lot of "me" time these days. But as I was scurrying around the countryside on Sunday, I spotted some of that orange plastic fencing that you usually see around an open hole in the ground. It was just there in the road, waiting for me to pick it up. I didn't see an open hole, so I grabbed it. Oh, I have been wanting some of that, just a little bit, to use as a stencil or as a stamp of sorts. Look for those rounded off squares in future paintings. No wonder my kids think I'm insane. I hope when they put me in a home, it will have art and painting facilities. That's all I ask.

. . . found inspiration everywhere

2010-03-07T07:36:00.002-06:00

I try to get to work very early so that I can park free, but so do a lot of other people, so it's a crap shoot. If I'm lucky, I get one and then I sit in my car and read for a while, until I figure the door to the office is unlocked. So that's what I was doing one morning when I glanced up and saw, off in the distance, this view. I always have my camera with me, so without even getting out of the car, I zoomed in and shot this vignette. Taking out a lot of extraneous stuff (stop sign, tree), and altering the colors a bit, I think I have here the inspiration for another painting, all right angles and earth tones.

. . . unearthed a treasure

2010-03-02T06:33:00.002-06:00

Last week as I was rummaging through the studio looking for paintings that Walter the Art Guy could take with him, I came across this piece. It's 8 x 8" on wood. Walter only wants things on canvas. I don't recall anything about this piece. I must be losing my mind. Or, as often happens, I didn't like it when I painted it so I put it away. And now I like it. If anyone is interested in purchasing it, please email me at mary c buek at aol.com (without any spaces) and we can discuss. The price? How about $40 plus shipping?

Today I go to court. After I get done, I will be a single woman again. My overwhelming emotion is relief. I'm probably supposed to feel sad, and I do, a bit. But isn't it interesting that something that can seem so devastating can actually turn out to be positive? I wish all my art friends were here so we could commemorate this day in some suitable manner, perhaps involving fruity girly alcoholic beverages and flinging paint.

2010-02-25T05:46:00.002-06:00

Here's another small painting made from excess and leftover paint. The original is bigger than this, and I usually like to pick out the most interesting parts, but I had a hard time deciding how to crop this one. Either it was all bad or all good. . .

Walter the Art Guy is coming to town this weekend. He will take all that I have produced, which is slim pickin's indeed. You would think that after a couple of months of working full time, my internal clock would have adjusted and I'd be pretty productive in the evenings. Wrong. I just want to sleep. And on weekends, too. Such an unproductive use of time, sleep. . . especially when you dream about art but are too tired to make it. I'm not stressing about it, though. I know there will come a time that I will feel like I can't go another minute without painting, and then I'll be on a roll. I'm just waiting for that time and getting ready.

. . . worked small yesterday

2010-02-21T09:10:00.003-06:00

trying to make a little magic with ink and paint. Although I believe I am already on the right track, I should probably go back and try to find the rest of the book that tells about the "secret of a happy life." This piece is a 4 x 6" matboard, with different paints built up from other pieces I have done. I glued on a few stray pieces of text, grabbed an old wooden printer piece of the letter g, and used various bits of texturing material to stamp. I feel like it's done, so I will put it away somewhere so that I won't be tempted to mess with it more. You gotta know when to quit, right?

Winter is blasting us here in the KC area yet again. Sleet, snow, rain, thundersnow, etc. But yesterday, I saw the shoots of daffodils peeking through the layer of ice pellets, and there are other perennials greening up in the garden. Spring will show up sooner or later.

. . . had no time

2010-02-18T06:02:00.001-06:00

to write much, but I did want to post this picture of the underside of a flat roof from the place I work. It's been leaking. . . but then, what hasn't, with all this snow.

. . . experimented with monoprinting

2010-02-16T05:53:00.002-06:00

This is a scan of a piece of white linen-like paper on which I unloaded extra yellow-gold paint from my brush, overlaid with a piece of transparent paper that I used to pick up some texture from another piece I was working on. It looks pretty good with a black mat.

. . . embraced the unanticipated

2010-02-14T09:32:00.002-06:00

Last weekend I watched a video lesson on creating abstract art. It made me feel like a real piker when it comes to art. The instructor was all about maintaining control of the painting. I never feel like I'm in control of the painting. And to me, that's the best part of the painting process. I like the unexpected. I like wondering "what if" and then finding out, even if it's not great. But what a wonderful surprise it is when a "what if" turns out to be amazing. Interestingly enough, this only applies to my art. . . I would rather maintain control over the rest of my life.

Another part of the video that caught my attention was his differentiation between a "technique" and a "trick." Basically, an overused technique becomes a trick. And a trick is bad. For instance, make a few dots, but not a bunch of dots. Fling a bit of paint, but don't fling a lot of paint. Don't make everything geometric, add a few curves, but keep the proportions at about 80% to 20%.

So what do you all think about this? Do you enjoy the unanticipated or do you plan? Do you keep control over your painting or do you fling with abandon? The painting above is one I've finished recently and it exemplifies my lack of control. I had no idea the left side of the painting would come out like it did, but I love it.

P.S. to the people who looked at my house yesterday: Thank you so much for tracking in all the mud from the still snow-covered back yard. I could follow your footsteps as you took the tour of the house. I really appreciate having to clean up after you. Did you happen to see the paper booties at the door that my realtor provided for this very reason? And then to hear that you don't like my house because it needs too much work. . . well, that just made my day. How about a little bit of respect for the fact that the place you messed up is actually someone's home?

. . . went dumpster-diving

2010-02-11T06:01:00.002-06:00

All of these pictures have a common thread. . . the dumpster outside my place of work. The one above is of the inside. . .

and this one above is of the outside panel of said dumpster. . .

and this one is the edge of the building in which the dumpster is stored. The rust from #2 is probably the direct result of the numerous times the dumpster hit the spot in #3.

. . . finished this one

2010-02-08T06:03:00.002-06:00

this weekend. It makes me happy to look at it.

. . . had the urge

2010-02-03T05:40:00.002-06:00

all day yesterday. . . overpowering, almost . . . to make art. Specifically to paint something, anything. I couldn't do anything about it until I got home. Add this photo to my inspiration for future paintings.

. . . suffered inspiration overload

2010-01-31T08:45:00.002-06:00

Well, unfortunately, I don't. . . but I did crop and enhance this picture from my walk around my new work neighborhood a few days ago. It's the underside of a walkway between two buildings, I think. So there's always something to make me want to paint.

. . . just couldn't help

2010-01-29T05:50:00.002-06:00

but create this, my version of "mail art." One of the more mundane tasks that I have to do each day, at least for a few more days, is open and sort the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of envelopes that come bearing tax information. It is an exercise that allows one's mind to wander. So this goofy little collage is made up of bits and pieces of those security envelopes, inside and outside, as well as the contents of my trash bin. Sometimes you just have to make art. If you can call this art.

. . . experimented with stuff

2010-01-27T05:50:00.002-06:00

I had laying around. This small painting on canvas is based on a paper shop towel that I had used to clean brushes or sop up extra paint on a bigger piece. After I rinsed the paper towel, I attached it to the canvas with extra-heavy gesso and medium. Then I just kept adding the odd bits of leftover paint to it. I wanted to find out if the paper towel would stay in place on the flexible substrate of canvas. Still don't know for sure, but this one doesn't look too promising.

This one incorporates parts of a paper towel, as well as parts of deli paper and even some pieces of plastic bags. No rhyme or reason to any of it, just experimenting to see what would happen. . .

. . . painted it twice

2010-01-25T05:35:00.003-06:00

This is a small painting of another angle of the side of the dumpster. See the photograph here. It was my practice run. After painting this one, I painted a larger one, 36 x 36". I don't think I have ever painted the same thing twice. But I'm happy with both of them.

. . . took a walk

2010-01-23T07:21:00.002-06:00

during what is undoubtedly the shortest 30-minute period of the day, my lunch break.

These pictures were taken within a one-block area of where I work.

IF weather ever improves, I hope to wander a bit further given the time limitation.

Most of these photos are of concrete, all enhanced with photo-editing software.

I like the random marks, as well as the textures.

. . . shared my view

2010-01-20T04:23:00.001-06:00

outside my office building, in the alley, by the back door. Taken during my lunch hour, honest.

. . . ???

2010-01-18T06:57:00.003-06:00

My mind is empty of clever and even not-so-clever titles. You all must know by now that I am not such a deep thinker. Maybe I just have nothing to say.

That Christmas Eve junkyard trip was the best gift. . . it continues to provide inspiration in both photos and paintings. This is one of the paintings, about 10 x 10" on canvas. The more I study it here in the photograph, the more I decide I like it. . . a lot. However, I will concede that there are probably potential purchasers who really don't want a painting of the side of a dumpster on their walls. Too bad.

Today I am going to paint. No distractions.

. . . received a paycheck

2010-01-16T07:30:00.002-06:00

The first one in more than eight years. It has "withholding" taken out, so it's an official paycheck. Most gratifying to me, an event I will remember. The only thing that supersedes it is when I sold my first piece of art. And it's all mine, just mine, to do with as I want. I don't have to pay someone else's bills with it, just mine. I'm proud of myself. To earn it, I had to drive in the dark and in the snow, which has always terrified me and which I have always avoided by any means possible. But I did it, and now I feel more confident that I can make it through this rough patch in my life on my own. There are still a few challenges ahead, but I have a plan now, and eventually everything will turn out all right. AND I have Monday off. Life is good.

I just love the colors in the picture above, another Christmas Eve junkyard photo. Have an art-filled weekend.

. . . continued the series

2010-01-14T06:03:00.001-06:00

Third in the series of junkyard-inspired paintings.

. . . painted a dumpster

2010-01-12T05:49:00.002-06:00

The second of three small paintings inspired by my photos from the Christmas Eve junkyard trip.

. . . studied junkyard photos

2010-01-10T06:26:00.002-06:00

Since my Christmas visit back home and my jaunt to the junkyard in the sleet with my brother and nephew, I have painted five small pieces. They are all inspired by the photos I took at the junkyard. This painting is small, no larger than 8"x 8", on canvas. I tore up some small strips of leftover canvas and embedded them in gesso. There was a wooden type Q sitting on my bookshelf, so I incorporated several impressions. These are all "studies" for bigger pieces. I really enjoy working in this small size. I feel more free, more creative, more likely to try something different or new. And if something works when it's small, I'll feel more comfortable trying to translate it into a larger piece.

I hope everyone is keeping warm. This cold weather we've had is ridiculous. Three degrees below zero this morning. I thought for a while yesterday my furnace had finally given up and gone to furnace heaven, but no, it was just a filter problem. I guess all my cleaning up in the studio had clogged a relatively new filter. Dodged a bullet on that one. Two women who had relieved me of part of my stash before Christmas came again yesterday and took home more supplies. They showed me a couple of crazy quilt heart ornaments they had made from fabric they bought in December. The hearts were wonderful, beaded and embroidered. Great job, ladies.

. . . could not sleep

2010-01-06T02:05:00.003-06:00

so what better time to create a blog post? So what if I have to get up and go to work in three hours? So what if there's a winter storm warning out for this area? So what if I have a car with bad brakes and nearly bald tires? So I freak about driving in snow.

I continue to befuddle the computers and the IT guys at my new job. The computer never does the same thing twice in a row. The IT guys think it's because I forget my passwords. It's not. I seem to be able to function on this computer and even have figured out programs a lot more confusing than those on my work computer.

I don't know what this thing is, but isn't it delicious? Enjoy.

. . .became somewhat desolate

2010-01-04T05:46:00.002-06:00

No, not really. But this is a photo of a rural eastern Kansas landscape yesterday afternoon at about 3:30.

If you can't see the beauty in the various shades of gray, brown and black, you are in big trouble out here.

. . . remembered a decade

2010-01-01T08:01:00.002-06:00

but anticipated the future. I remember exactly what I was doing on December 31, 1999 and January 1, 2000. I was so inspired by the whole world celebrating a new millenium. I remember my hopes and dreams, plans and preparations.

After living almost sixty years, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that nothing turned out like I had expected. It rarely does. For the past couple of weeks, I have been analyzing this last decade, as artificial a time delineator as any other, and I had come to the conclusion that it had been a really lousy decade.

But wait. This decade gave me a wonderful son-in-law and three amazing grandchildren. That alone should put this decade in the "best of a lifetime" category. During this decade, my creativity flourished; I would not have even considered that a possibility ten years ago. I had the luxury of leisure time. I learned a lot, about things that interested me. I lost one dear friend and my wonderful father-in-law to death, and another relationship to stupidity, but gained and reconnected with friends, in person and on the internet. I gained, and then lost, material wealth, and found out that I didn't even want any more "things." I lost a 38-year marriage, but I gained the knowledge that I was capable of surviving that loss and I learned that there were really very few limitations to what I could do for myself. I learned to forgive myself and to be kinder and calmer. And, best of all, I can now say, "I am an artist." And, as you all know, art will save the world. We just have to wait for the world to figure that out.

So, overall, I will rate the 00s as a net gain. And hope to hell I can say the same ten years from today. Happy new year, everyone.

. . . went to work

2009-12-30T20:19:00.002-06:00

Yep, first full day under my belt. Yesterday was orientation, very corporate. Codes and passwords for everything from restroom access to internet access. Today, more time with co-workers, all very nice. This will work out all right.

When I took the picture above, I told my brother, as we stood in the sleet, that I was going to paint this one. His look at me would have been the definition of "askance." The side of a beat up old metal container? But really, isn't it just wonderful? And yes, I've started to paint it, a small version to warm up, a large version to come.

Everything's good and it's just going to get better.

. . . expect big changes

2009-12-28T07:38:00.002-06:00

It's been a long time since I last posted and a lot has happened in that time.

Right before Christmas, Walter the Art Guy left a message: four paintings out on approval, maybe a check after the first of the year; representation here in Kansas City at relocating Park Place Gallery in the Crossroads District; and he needs more paintings. All good. I have been so busy making outfits for Betsy and Nora for Christmas that I haven't done any "art" for a while. I came to think of my fashion creations as wearable collages. Now I need to get some work done that's not so wearable.

Last Tuesday, my mom slipped, fell and broke her wrist and tore up her arm, 20 stitches and a cast. At any age, that's a bad deal, but at 82, it's frightening for her. I think she'll be all right, but she's impatient, wants to get back to doing what she's always done. Also last Tuesday I had a job interview, went back on Wednesday for another interview, and was offered the job. Starting in two days, I will be an assistant in the trust department of a bank. Tomorrow I go in for orientation. Different environment for me, but very similar to the work that I used to do. Benefits, I hope, and a regular paycheck will help the dire financial situation, supplemented by any art that I can sell. I have had a good run of being master of my own time, enjoyed every second of it, and will miss my freedom. But it's time for a change.

I left Wednesday noon to go to my mother's house for the holiday. The first thing I see when I get to town is there's a brand new Sonic restaurant on the east side of town, basically in the parking lot of the relatively brand new grocery store there. Wow, that's big, especially since there's another Sonic on the west side of the main street, only about a mile away. Later I find out that the west side Sonic will become something else. Still only one Sonic in town, and still no street lights.

Thursday is cold, rain turning into sleet turning into snow. But my brother Steve, the unrepentant junker, and his son Chris, who has been raised in that fine tradition, picked me up and off we went to the metal recycling centers. I was looking for photographs, Chris was looking for automotive details to decorate his "man cave" in the garage, and Steve was just along for the ride. It was so cold that my camera would only work for a few minutes outside. When we finally gave up on hopping in and out of the Jeep, Chris took us on a tour of the town so I can see all the new stuff and also what has happened to the old stuff. My brother and I did a lot of "Didn't the Jones's used to live there? Who lives there now?"

The blizzard arrived Thursday afternoon, along with Matt, my son. My sister and her family and my aunt and uncle didn't even attempt to come for Christmas eve. Church services were cancelled for Christmas eve and Christmas day. I was just happy to know everyone was safe. It was a quiet and peaceful Christmas eve. . . with my brothers and I remembering what we did when we were kids waiting for Santa. The younger generation was probably pretty bored, and they all had their cellphones in hand, but they are all wonderful kids and I so enjoyed hearing about what was going on in their lives. The snow continued all through Christmas day.

I headed home on Saturday; the sun was shining, the snow had quit. The road going east had some drifting, but it wasn't too bad. The interstate going north was clear. . . until I got within two miles of my exit. It starting snowing again, the road was snowpacked, and traffic was iffy. I finally got home but there was so much snow I couldn't pull into the driveway. Yesterday I shoveled a path to the garage. And I started painting. It seems more important to use my leisure time for creating now that I will have less of it. And besides, it's fun.

The picture at the top of this post is one from Thursday's junk expedition. I actually got quite a few shots that have already inspired the beginnings of two new paintings. Wish me luck on my new venture, and remind me to keep making my art no matter what.

. . .showed some progress

2009-12-14T06:54:00.002-06:00

in the decluttering of my basement. That big ol' pile of nasty that was strewn about on the floor last week is now piled up neatly, just waiting for someone to see the potential in it. Just look at the green game board, the architectural salvage pieces, the twine winder. . .

the microscope box, the library card catalog drawer, a postal sorting box with the names of cities and states still attached, a leather box shaped like a horseshoe. So far I have met three interesting people who have come to my studio and instead of telling me they preferred a finished basement with a pool table, a bar and surround-sound big-screen televisions, they loved every bit of it just as it was: every drop of paint spilled on the floor, every inch of space filled to the brim with stuff, the old ping-pong table covered with paper, jewelry, fun stuff. Each one was an artist. . . ah, that explains it.

. . . sewed a skirt

2009-12-11T07:56:00.006-06:00

for Betsy's Christmas present. She loves to wear a skirt or a dress every day. And since I have no money to spend on presents, I rediscovered my fabric stash and for the price of a $2 (on sale at JoAnns) pattern and about $1.50 elastic, I came up with this skirt. The fabric to make the skirt came from leftover samples from decorators. The purple flower is detachable, but Betsy loves purple. Betsy has the perfect figure for a 5-year-old: 24, 22, 24. The skirt is 10" long, isn't that just adorable? I was inspired by the clothes on the Matilda Jane website and I think I pretty much nailed the look. I will also get a plain T-shirt and embellish it, either with iron-ons or ruffles, and maybe some tights or leg warmers, also embellished, or if I can's find the right ones, I'll just whip some up. Maybe a little skirt for Nora, too?

My mother would be dismayed at how I put this thing together. Everything is machine-stitched, even the hem. My thinking is that I want Betsy to wear this and she will play in it and I don't want my hand-stitched hem coming apart. All the seams are pressed in one direction, then zigzagged and then top stitched. I'm a bit befuddled by this pattern, because there is a yoke facing on the front, but I couldn't see where there was a yoke facing on the back because there was a casing for the elastic. Shoot, I even read the directions and they weren't any help.

I will never be the seamstress that my mother is, and my sister is even more amazing. They are both perfectionists. Not me. I experiment. I will try anything. I don't necessarily follow the directions on the patterns. Like on this one, I added the little "aprons." And, most of all, I want instant gratification. So while this is the first skirt I made like this, I will be making more, and they will be variations on a theme.

. . .pitched and tossed

2009-12-07T09:04:00.002-06:00

I make it sound as though I were out at sea in a desperate storm. Not really, I'm still working my way through my basement/studio. I knew when I asked my (ex)husband if he would help me clean it, and he answered, "I didn't make that mess, you know," that I was on my own. . . not really too surprising under the circumstances. The picture above shows the only piece of art that I have touched in a couple of weeks. . . it's a start, but I can't seem to get past this stage at this time. I keep getting sidetracked, finding back wonderful stuff and having to make fateful decisions as to the disposition of the fabulous stuff.

Like this shelf of old books (well, maybe not the Reader's Digest.) It's one of three shelves of old books, pamphlets, etc. I can't bear to part with them right now. Maybe later.

And what about this old lens testing kit? I love it, love it, love it, even though I will never make the collaged pendants that I had planned. The box itself is wonderful.

This picture shows a bit of the mess I will tackle today. I know, I should be ashamed that it ever got to this point. I watched a show, "Hoarders" yesterday on TV. . . this could be a segment on that show. At least this is just a small space. There's a scoop shovel in my plans for this week.

But here's a part that's been cleared and organized. Christmas ornaments and Santa collection culled to two or three crates; Halloween stuff in one-plus bin. Not sure I will put up the big tree this year, or the big heavy lit wreath that usually hangs in the beautiful arched window above the front door. I'm a bit of a Scrooge this year. I was invited to a cookie exchange Saturday night, which required that I make a couple dozen cookies. Unfortunately I fell asleep waiting for a concoction that was supposed to take an hour to bake. It wasn't burned too badly. . . I cut out the bad bits. I probably never be invited back.

. . . sold some supplies

2009-12-02T08:43:00.003-06:00

Yep, cleaning out the basement/studio. This time it's serious. I ask myself: Do I want to move this? If the answer is no, the next question is: Sell, give away, pitch? What I'm showing here is some of the stuff I'm selling. I already pitched 12 big garbage of junk (truly not usuable in any form) with the help of Alex, my 8th grade neighbor. What a nice young man. Above are years of Somerset Studio magazines, Cloth Paper Scissors, etc.

Bunches of vintage papers purchased at estate sales years ago. I was never able to create anything vintage to my satisfaction.

Old games. I also got these at estate sales. They looked like fun. Never got around to it.

Just a small small portion of watch parts. Are these what are used in "steampunk?"

Just a glimpse of vintage jewelry. I was really into beading and jewelry making for a while. My plan on these was to take them apart and reassemble the parts into whole pieces. I didn't have the patience for it.

Craig's List is pretty amazing. I've had more than ten inquiries since last night. I wish etsy were like that. I think the word "CHEAP" was the Craig's List main attraction. Because I'm almost giving this stuff away.

I am chagrined at the amount of time and money I have spent on these various activities. Oh, and if anyone sees anything they might want, let me know. Make an offer, I don't have any idea on what to price these.

. . . had a family

2009-11-27T08:57:00.003-06:00

. . . Thanksgiving feast. Everyone from my extended family came except for my sister's family from Pennsylvania. So, sorry, Amanda and Elizabeth, you'll have to get in the next family picture. When my brothers and sisters and I were young, we had many pictures taken on the gorgeous old staircase in my parents' house. The tradition continued last night. I think Stef and Andy were trying to get a shot for their Christmas cards; I can almost assure you that this one won't make the cut.

And then the next generation took their places on the staircase at my house. They are all young adults now. My brother-in-law remarked that when he married my sister, there was only one grandchild, my daughter Stephanie. Now look at all of them.

Top row: Christopher and Katie; next row: Ali, Betsy, Hannah and Lauren; next row: Joey on Stephanie's lap, Nora on Andy's lap, and Sean; bottom: Matt and John. Quite a good looking crew, and with their parents, a wonderful family to have.

. . . made time for

2009-11-23T06:59:00.002-06:00

. . . a bit of art between a couple of very busy weeks. Last Friday was my Betsy's fifth birthday. She invited me to come along with her and her mother to "Build a Bear" workshop, where she created and outfitted a pink unicorn that she named "Uni." Then we had lunch at Nordstom's cafe (grilled cheese sandwich, not mac & cheese.) On Saturday I had a house showing for which I did indeed clean the house, and I went to Betsy's house to play "Sorry" with her. Joey didn't understand the rules of the game and kept trying to steal everyone's tokens or "sorry" them across the room. Last night, when Uncle Matt could be present, we celebrated with a pink and marshmallow birthday cake and ice cream. Elvis the Elf, who is sort of a spy for Santa, has arrived in the house and is watching the kids to report any good deeds or misdeeds. Joey was extremely helpful and Betsy mainly stayed out of Elvis's sight.

Last week, as though by magic, two jobs appeared on my CareerBuilder.com list that I am very interested in. One is at a bank as a Senior Trust Administrative Assistant. I figure I have the "senior" part down, for sure. The description of this job is exactly the type of thing I used to do in my previous life. The other is at a law firm as a paralegal with emphasis on estate and trust administration. Also exactly what I used to do. I quickly applied on line. . . sending in my resume and cover letter. I don't exactly like applying for jobs on line, but apparently that's the way things are done these days. Now I need to convince one of these places that they cannot survive without me. My sister told me she had read somewhere that people are showing up at work places bearing homemade cookies for the hiring staff, or having T-shirts printed up with the company's logo and something like "Hire Me." A bit extreme for me, especially the cookies. I am also going to apply at Kohl's today: I heard they were hiring for 7:00p.m. to 1:00 a.m. shift restocking shelves during the holidays. I figure I can do anything for a month or two. I hope they have jobs available for morning people, though. I can't imagine staying up much past 11:00 p.m., but going to work at 4:00 a.m. would not be a problem for me.

These pieces are 8 x 8" on wood, with no particular plan. . . just kind of playing around. The last one, although blurry, was very experimental. If you squint and look closely, you can see the outline of a dried hosta leaf. Also included are pieces of paper towels I used in the past for clean-up and even some wax paper and plastic bag bits, also used to clean up. I was surprised at how well the plastic bags and wax paper adhere. And the hosta leaf, too, for that matter. The top one is probably done; the bottom two may undergo further experiments.

. . .knew I was

2009-11-20T08:35:00.002-06:00

in deep shit when the highlight of my entire week was purchasing a Thanksgiving turkey for forty cents per pound (at Price Chopper, limit one per customer, with $25 purchase.)

. . . unearthed a relic

2009-11-18T08:02:00.002-06:00

Scrounging around in the basement, looking for stuff that I had stashed away (I just knew I would need it one day), I came across this funny piece that I created a long, long time ago. . .

I can't seem to call it anything but "Homage to a Survivor." Obviously it's a vintage wooden box, the back covered in corrugated cardboard. Attached to the back is a wooden block, heavily textured, with painted kebob sticks included. I can't remember where I got that little half-finial but I attached it to the block. At the bottom there's a rusty metal washer nailed into the back with a numbered storm window nail. The survivor is, of course, the vintage turquoise pin of a cockroach. Why anyone would have ever wanted a cockroach pin is beyond me. I know I bought it at an estate sale years ago. Maybe it's not a cockroach. . . maybe it's a big ladybug or some other kind of beetle. I used it as a cockroach. At the present time, it is not attached to anything, and it keeps falling off. So I just reposition it, sometimes going into the finial, sometimes creeping out of it.

I have a lot of stuff like this hanging around the studio. At one time I thought I might try my hand at assemblage (and I still might someday) so I have lots of boxes and stuff to put in the boxes. I used to paint on wood a lot, when I started doing this art stuff. Now I have a lot of really bad art on wood. I'm cutting it up into smaller pieces and using the backside of it to make new art for etsy. I'll probably just end up with piles of smaller art on wood. There's more than one way to clean out a basement/studio. Instead of pitching a lot of stuff, I'll just use it up. It doesn't look like I'll be moving anytime soon, so I'll just wait for the foreclosure notice, and then the Sheriff can haul all the junk in the basement to the front lawn. That will certainly be a payback for the modification committee of the homeowners association rejecting the dog fence idea for potential new owners. (Okay, that last part is sarcastic and mean-spirited, and I'm joking about foreclosure. . . kind of.)

. . . made chunky photos

2009-11-16T08:05:00.002-06:00

More than a year ago, I had some of my photographs printed up professionally on good quality paper with archival inks. I tried to sell some of them at a show of sorts, but had absolutely no response. I matted and framed some of my favorites and they had been hanging in the house.

When I was making my chunky pieces to sell on etsy, I noticed that the width of these photos was the same as the width of my chunky piece of wood. An idea began to percolate. . .

and here is the result. I cut the long chunky board into 7.25" pieces, and sanded the edges of each piece. Then I covered the front and sides with black gesso.

Using Golden gel medium, I affixed some of my favorite photos to the chunky black wood pieces. I used a brayer to get out all the air bubbles and to make sure the photo was securely attached to the wood.

After everything was dry, I coated each piece with a product I had not tried before: Golden's semi-gloss topcoat for digital prints. The finish is great. I used up the whole sample jar, so I'll have to get more. Oh, dear, a trip to the art supply store.

I promise this blog will not turn into an advertisement for the stuff I have for sale on my etsy site. Although this little bit of inspiration is not as spectacular as, say, mapping the DNA of an extinct species of man-eating snails, I wanted to share this with you because I think the end result is successful (and with all the experimenting I do, that's something to celebrate.)

. . .vented, a bit

2009-11-14T07:38:00.002-06:00

I know someday I will look back on the experience and find it funny; I am usually able to do that, even at my own expense. But right now, I'm just pissed.

I have been working a lot, getting another bunch of small paintings ready to post on my etsy site, as well as making some bigger pieces for Walter the Art Guy. I have not had a lot of time to clean the house, not that it's particularly dirty, maybe just needs dusting and vacuuming. My real estate agent wanted to schedule an open house for this weekend, but I told her Thursday morning that I didn't think I would have time to clean the house properly, so we decided to cancel it. Thursday evening, while I'm down in the studio, paint and junk splattered all over me and the space, and having just gotten my pants caught in the sander and torn a big chunk out of them, at 5:05 p.m., Central Booking calls and tells me that there is a real estate agent who wants to show my house at 5:15. A master of the obvious, I say, "But that's in ten minutes." The lady on the phone tells me that it's okay that my house isn't clean enough, they won't look at that, they only want to look at the structure. So I say okay, straighten up as well as I can in five minutes, and head out the front door to my neighbor's house, just as some jerk in a silver Lexus drives up the street and turns into my driveway.

It's over in 15 minutes. My neighbor takes off for ballet class with her daughter, and I take off back home, only to find myself locked out of my house. Usually when I have a showing, I go somewhere in my car, and I have the garage door opener to let me in, but this time I just forgot. I circled the house, all the doors are locked, all the window are locked (which is really a good thing, I guess, since I live alone) and I ended up sitting on the front steps wondering what to do. Fortunately, I had my purse and my cell phone, so I called my realtor, who lives next door, and she came and opened the door for me with the key in the lock box. There was no sign that anyone had been in the house, except all the lights were on. The jerk didn't leave a card or anything.

So Friday morning I read that I had received a comment back from this jerk realtor about my house. Basically he said that it was dirty; that I needed to hire a house cleaning crew. I cannot tell you how pissed off that makes me. This house is not dirty. I know. I have been in dirty houses, and this isn't it. It's not messy, either. No one ever goes into about half the rooms in the house, so how in the hell can they be dirty? Dusty, maybe, not dirty. Was there a big of blush in the sink? Yeah, a tiny bit. But there was no soap scum, no tiny hairs. Did I have my art pieces, envelopes, tape, bubblewrap, etc. on the counter? Yes, I did. Was it neatly piled up? Yes, it was. Was it dirty? No, it was not. In fact, I can't even think what made him write such a comment. The dust on the blinds in the kitchen? The paint flecks in the sink? What the hell, a cleaning crew for that?

I know I need to just let these comments go. . . water off a duck's back. I know this intellectually, but I'm insulted that someone thinks my house is dirty. Some stranger in a dirty silver Lexus has come into my house and found it lacking. . . ergo, found me lacking. Oh, yeah, he also says that the house in its current condition is overpriced by thousands of dollars. Because he thinks it's dirty? Maybe it is, but not for the reason he stated in his comment.

Okay, it's starting to be slightly humorous. I'm still not laughing, but I can see that I'm being ridiculous here. Maybe it will be belly-laughing hilarious after I sell the house.

. . . scanned fall detritus

2009-11-12T07:02:00.003-06:00

My friend Leslie Miller posted some photographs of her hosta leaf collection on her blog a few weeks ago. She inspired me to go out into the yard and find art inspiration.

I found these marvelous seed pods outside. Unfortunately I have no idea what plants provided them. . . whether they were weeds or actually garden plants. . . although there's not much difference right now.

I scanned them and these are the photos I came up with, and I love them. The grays and neutral tones in the last two are so appealing, and the contrast of the gold against the black in the first one is amazing. I don't know what I'm going to do with them, but I'll think of something artful eventually. There are marvelous videos on You Tube showing how to make multi-level stencils from photographs using PhotoShop. Or how about tracing these onto a foam/plastic meat tray and using it as a printing plate or a stamp? There's always some kind of photo transfer to try, but I have absolutely no luck with those techniques. What would you do with them?

. . . restocked the shop

2009-11-09T08:10:00.003-06:00

I spent much of yesterday loading up my etsy site with the small paintings I had done in the past two weeks. I really did have a lot of fun making these paintings on wood: everything from using the power tools to cut the wood to size, to making marks, using all different kinds of paints and techniques, and finishing the sides and backs. If you don't already know, here's my etsy site: http://www.etsy.com/shop/thepaintedsurface. Please click on the link and see what's in the store.

(This really looks like Kansas, kind of accidentally)

Every painting on the site is only $20, with $3 shipping no matter how many pieces you buy. I am hoping people will believe that's a bargain, and not that they are getting shoddy cheap goods. I have painted these small pieces with every bit as much care as my larger canvases. And I hope you all enjoy looking at them, if not purchasing them.

. . . were almost ready

2009-11-07T08:21:00.002-06:00

to open my etsy store again. . . this time, organized and prepared before posting anything.

Everything is signed, hangers have been applied, little soft dots on each piece so they won't mess up your walls. . .

The sides are all painted black, ready to rock and roll. . .

My blog-friend Seth Apter has the distinction of purchasing the first piece. . . and I thank him from the bottom of my heart. He is an amazing artist and I'm flattered that he bought one of my pieces.

I have to make my weekly call to my mom in about five minutes, so this post will be short. Thanks to everyone who has commented here. What would I do without my blog friends?

. . . read "Weird News"

2009-11-05T08:00:00.004-06:00

In today's paper, I read the following bit in the "Weird News" section:

"New Zealand's Waikato National Contemporary Art Award in September (worth the equivalent of $11,000) went to Dane Mitchell, whose entry consisted merely of the discarded packaging materials from all the other exhibits vying for the prize.

"Mitchell called his pile "Collateral."

"(Announcement of the winner was poorly received by the other contestants.)" (From the Kansas City Star, November 5, 2009, Page 37.

Just to make sure that this wasn't an over-simplification or misinterpretation of actual fact, I did check out the Waikato National Contemporary Art Award site (http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/arts/2844191/Waikato-art-award-winner-just-rubbish-artists. Take a look for yourself.

These five pieces, along with the two I posted a couple of days ago, are the 5 1/2" square chunky paintings I plan to post on my etsy site. Along with a bunch of other stuff, too. Let me know what you think.

. . . recycled and reused

2009-11-03T06:45:00.002-06:00

Here are two of seven small chunky paintings that I made recently to put into my etsy store. All seven of them are 5 1/2" square and 1 1/2" deep. I loved making these little pieces. . . I got to use my big electric saw to cut a piece of wood that had been in my basement studio forever, just waiting to be something other than a door stop. I'm still a bit scared of cutting off a finger or putting out my eye with this saw.

I covered each piece with extra heavy white gesso, textured the gesso, and just painted away. I had already painted in the circles when I found some upholstery tacks lurking in my supplies, so I took the whole circle idea to a new level . . . and got to use my drill too.

Here's what I would do with these pieces: Attach two eye-rings (I think that's what they're called) to the top and bottom of each piece, then tie fishing line to the eye-rings, so that these pieces hang vertically attached to each other. You could leave a couple inches between each painting. Cup hooks would probably work too. The pieces would be interchangeable and you could determine yourself the top and bottom of each piece. This would work in those very narrow spaces that we all have around the house, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in a hallway.

I'm not quite ready to post anything on etsy yet, but the price of these little chunks of art will be $20 each. If you see anything you like, let me know, because I will sell them off this blog. I have a Paypal account too.

. . .splashed paint around

2009-11-01T08:51:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone had a peaceful and treat-filled Halloween. I ran out of candy and goodies very early; that probably had something to do with Betsy and Joe helping me hand out the treats. Fistfuls in every bag. Joey freaked out over a medium-sized skeleton appearing out of the darkness and was very worried after that when the doorbell rang. He swore he would not be scared next year and that he would throw hedgeballs at scary things. We watched as Andy and Stephanie carved a cool pumpkin and and Betsy and Joe poked wooden kebob skewers all over it, just for something different. Nora did what babies do: slept, pooped, jabbered and cried.

The painting above just happened. I wanted to use the last bit of canvas off a roll, so it's kind of long and skinny. I actually rather like the results of my messing around. It amazes me how a few black marks can really make a difference. This is the last of the latest round of paintings on canvas. I have spent the past week working on small pieces on panels of wood (in some cases, chunks of wood) for my etsy shop. I've been having fun. . .

. . . considered swine flu

2009-10-30T09:03:00.005-05:00

(next to last wonky picture of painting)

I know one thing: if washing one's hands was 100% insurance against getting the swine flu (H1N1, whatever, swine is much more descriptive), artists would probably stay pretty healthy. I wash my hands about 180,000 times a day, just to get paint or glue or other gooey stuff off them. And I don't mean just run them under the faucet with lukewarm water. Oh, no, it's hot water, lots of soap, and a scrub brush. I used to have a big tub of some kind of soap along the lines of Lava, really abrasive, but worked pretty well. Of course, after a while the skin on my hands would slough off like snake skin, but they were clean.

The other factor that may save me (and perhaps other artists) from the dreaded swine flu is that I don't come into contact with a lot people down in my basement studio. In fact, no one. In fact, I could probably go for a long time without seeing anyone if I really tried. I sometimes worry about having some kind of crippling accident at home and not being found for days. But there is no one sneezing on me, or coughing on me, and whatever germs are in the studio have been there for a while.

My little ones, however, are human petri dishes. There is usually some sort of bodily fluid escaping from them somewhere. They are pretty cute when they sneeze or cough into their shoulders or upper arms. But I haven't decided whether to get the vaccination or not. How about you?

. . . posted 500 entries

2009-10-28T06:05:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I saw that my last blog entry was the 500th. Wow. Seems like I should do something to celebrate, like give something away or quit while I'm ahead . . . I need some time to think about what to do . . . any suggestions?

Remember the "wonky" pictures I took before my paintings left the house? Here's another one. It's all crooked and crumbled up in the corners, but at least I have a record of it.

I'm working on some small "masterpieces" that I plan to try to sell on my etsy site. They will be cheap. . . ridiculously cheap. . . Some of them are studies for larger paintings, but I'm also recycling and reinventing some of the stuff I have had in the studio for a long time. That's as good a way of clearing out the space as any. Working with wood and power tools again is extremely gratifying. I will be able to try some collage and maybe even some encaustic on these pieces. The last time I tried etsy, I was so distracted by personal issues that I didn't do a very good job at all. This time, I'll be ready and organized. I promise.

. . . were keeping busy

2009-10-26T08:30:00.002-05:00

but without much to show for the activity. Last week I had Joey at the house for a couple of days. He had a double ear infection, which seemed to clear up as soon as he got to my house. Although the days he spent with me were pretty rainy and dreary, they were warm and he played with his Barbie Jeep, we read stories, watched the Berenstain Bears on TV and generally just had a good time together.

Walter the Art Guy came on Friday and picked up all of my recent paintings. I hope he can peddle them, and soon. I hadn't taken photos of all the paintings, so I did that rather quickly before he left. So the next few photos on this blog will be sort of wonky.

Hope everyone has a fun, fruitful and art-filled week.

. . . showed an opposite

2009-10-21T07:32:00.002-05:00

In opposition to the painting I showed in my last post, that came together so easily that it was guilt-inducing, this painting was a frustration from the very beginning. They were pretty much painted at the same time. I worked on this one, adding stuff, sanding stuff off, you all know the drill. Nothing was working. So, in a juvenile fit of pique, I placed a plastic sheet with leftover wet gesso on top of it and this is the result. The painting will probably not make the traveling team, but it certainly was informative. I do see some possibilities in this technique. And it is better now than it was before the gesso fit.

. . . quit while ahead

2009-10-19T06:43:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had a painting come together so quickly that you almost felt guilty about it? That is what happened to me with this one. I guess it's because of my strict Catholic upbringing, because I can manage to feel guilty about almost anything. But this painting involved no suffering; it just happened and I quit while I was ahead.

. . . were irrationally nervous

2009-10-15T08:33:00.003-05:00

about posting my art on my blog. . . yeah, even after all this time. My inner critic is not just whispering, it's screaming at me. And since most of my blog readers are accomplished and talented artists, I am squeamish about showing my work.

(this one is upside down)

Nevertheless, here are a couple of long but narrow pieces, loosely using the colors of the previous painting. My readers are getting everything I've painted, the good, the bad, the ugly, the ones I know just won't work. The ones that will eventually be painted over, and in the meantime will just take up space. You know that old saying, "even a stopped clock is right twice a day" . . . or "even a blind pig . . ." Well, maybe somewhere in here are one or two pieces that are actually okay.

. . . used the lines

2009-10-13T06:52:00.002-05:00

from the photos I took a few weeks ago. . . the power lines. . . in this painting. This is really a lousy photo of this painting. The colors are off, and I can't seem to get them corrected. It's crooked, too, so the section of green/gray is cut off the top and the black area on the botom is askew. But you get the general idea. . .

Yesterday was a "Betsy Day". . . Steph took a day off to spend with just Betsy, no other kids, and they invited me to see a movie with them. We went to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." I loved the cityscapes in the backgrounds of the movie. And we went to a theater that featured lunch with the movie. . . what an inspired idea. And there were the only three people in the theater. Excellent.

I can't even remember the last time I went to a movie in a theater. I'm sure it was with the kids. Maybe "Toy Story." I do remember that as soon as the lights went down, I fell asleep. Every time. So the experience was really wasted on me. Oh, I do remember being so tired all the time when the kids were young.

. . . painted a companion

2009-10-11T08:15:00.002-05:00

piece to my previous painting. A really dark and highly textured companion. Same size, same experiment, slightly different results.

The weather has turned chilly, and that has brought a visitor. . . a huge mouse (well, it looked huge to me, but was probably just a normal mouse) ran from somewhere in the kitchen through the eating space while I sat at the kitchen island reading the paper and having my coffee. On two different days. The exact same route. It creeps me out to know I'm sharing my space with that thing, so I purchased some new-fangled nonpoisonous traps to catch it without having to actually look at or touch a dead mouse. I have set the traps in the most obvious places but so far no trapped mouse. The little plastic container is supposed to indicate a catch with a red arrow, at which point you toss the entire trap in the trash. I probably should just borrow Georgia, the neighbors' cat, for a couple of days, and let her handle the problem.

. . . experimented with texture

2009-10-08T06:53:00.002-05:00

Faced with what I thought was a daunting deadline of creating five or more paintings in a couple of weeks, I set up another area in the basement so I could work on more than one painting at a time. I'm not adept at multi-tasking. But while I waited for one painting to dry, or for inspiration on how to continue with it, I was working on the others. This area became my experimental zone, and this is the first thing I created there. It also turned out to be a pretty good place to photograph the paintings. This is about 30 x 30". I almost gave up on it several times, but I became determined to finish it, or at least learn something in the process. And I did. The HVAC guy who came to fix my furnace really really like this painting. I wish I could have bartered it for a new motor for the furnace fan, but alas, I don't think the accounting procedures at the corporate entity that employed him allowed for that type of transaction.